Chaotic Musings

Notes to self

2012-01-24T16:06:00.001+05:30

A watched door never brings the messenger.

Anticipation and optimism are the cause of high blood pressure.

Shantaram revisited

2011-12-19T00:23:00.000+05:30

"The ancient Sanskrit legends speak of a destined love, a karmic connection between souls that are fated to meet and collide and enrapture one another. The legends say that the loved one is instantly recognised because she’s loved in every gesture, every expression of thought, every movement, every sound, and every mood that prays in her eyes. The legends say that we know her by her wings—the wings that only we can see—and because wanting her kills every other desire of love."

The random coincidences, the feeling of loss which could not be explained, an intense longing, the sudden understanding of the last line of the quote, the way it fell together, love certainly..multiple interpretations. Shantaram revisited and how

Discovering Chennai - 1

2011-11-14T19:11:00.001+05:30

Chennai has some places with really quirky names. For instance there is Broadway, Paris and Times Square. This was an observation made by one of my friends which perked my interest as well. We set out to discover Broadway and Parrys (Paris) first. These areas are full of markets selling all kinds of goods.The one thing that stands out though is the High Court and another building right across it which is reminiscent of the islamic style of archtitecture. I really like old buildings and I guess thats why it caught my fancy.

The second phase of exploring Broadway took place this weekend and was again quite interesting. I randomly stumbled along the Armenian Church which I had been meaning to discover the next week and needless to say I was happy. The Church itself is quite small and has a nice courtyard surrounding it. The most interesting aspect of this place was the bell tower. According to believable sources (Wiki :P), it has the heaviest bells in Chennai and yours truly managed to sneak up the tower and have a look at them.

The next spot of interest that day was the Thousand Lights Mosque. Yes, the moment one hears the name they picture a grand building shimmering in light. Its a let down if you conjure that image in your mind but nevertheless a nice place. Paintings and pictures of various mosques adorn the walls. The most interesting painting though was one with the entire Quran in miniature letters. A microscope is in order to read it!

Food-wise there have been plenty of discoveries too. Some of the best pizzas have been had at Tuscana and Bella Ciao. Fruit Shop still remains my favourite for fruit juices and Saravana Bhavan for the rava onion dosa. I am an ardent idli hater and I am pleased to say that Murugan idli shop did manage to half change my mind about them. Dessert wise there is Ecstasy which steals the show. The highlight however, among all the places discovered is a place called Nine Feet High/No Sky Above. Its right on the beach and therefore has the perfect ambience. It was particularly nice to be there around Diwali, when you could see random rockets exploding in the sky and watch the waves gently crash on the beach. Chasing crabs on the beach is also an option if anyone is interested!

This is the shortest possible round up of recent discoveries. More city based posts should be expected soon.

Peace

2011-10-21T02:09:00.000+05:30

The neutral, drifting feeling you get when you are on a hike alone. That feeling of absolute solitude and being all alone in the world. The teasing anticipation of what lies ahead on a misty path. The bedazzlement coupled with the slight nervousness while looking at the vast expanse of the ocean at night. The curiosity about what it would be like to be drowning in the middle of the sea at night. The curiosity about climbing a mountain alone at night. The common thread is solitude and peace.

One of those days at work..

2011-10-12T19:18:00.000+05:30

Hair on a person's head can never be perfectly in place unless it has been forced by some artificial means. I think the previous statement should be an axiom. As a result, whenever I see a person especially a man with his hair perfectly in place without any sign of oil, gel and other condiments I always suspect he is wearing a wig.

This suspicion is extremely troublesome because I cannot stop staring at his head. This has been happening to me at work lately. This man with absolutely perfect hair was standing next to one of his colleagues and right across me. I have never had so much trouble concentrating. His hair baffled me! It would not move, not a single strand! Nothing was out of place and it looked glued to his head. The more I looked at it the more fake it looked. I badly wanted to tug at his hair to see whether he would wince in pain or it would slide off without much trouble. I imagine it will slide off.

I think it will be too rude to ask him about it so tugging at it is a better option. I could always say I saw a fly on his head or a piece of gum. Given that he is around six feet tall the gum excuse might not be a good idea. Any other ideas are most welcome.

Madras - The week that was

2011-10-04T19:07:00.001+05:30

The previous post though depressing has nothing to do with my state of affairs in Chennai. Ok, maybe just a little bit to do with work! I am very surprised to admit this but there has not been a single day when I have been bored in Madras so far. Yes, I had very low expectations from this place and I am relieved to say that those expectations have been surpassed and how! The city itself or the people in it can make the experience worthwhile and in this case its the people. I do not care much for the city and that will not change anytime soon.

Rooftop parties, a visit to the beach, a visit to Pondicherry and a small glimpse of the Chennai party scene have been the highlights so far. I never missed terraces when I was in Manchester but I have begun to appreciate it more now. It is very pleasant in the nights since there is always a cool breeze blowing and even the stars are usually visible. I have always wanted to fall asleep looking at the stars and I finally managed to do that here after a 15 year gap. It is also an ideal place for everyone to hang out and it happens quite regularly.

Pondicherry was a good trip despite me being bleary eyed and exhausted. I think it is an overrated place but the French Quarter was indeed nice. The food in the French Quarter was really good and certainly the best aspect of the trip. The rocky "beach" or promenade is just a very poor form of Marine Drive. The transformation of the promenade in the night is quite disconcerting. There is a mini funfair which manifests itself there in the night in sharp contrast to a smattering of people in the day.

Last up is the Chennai party scene. I have heard that places here shut by eleven and I can vouch for it now. I guess the twentyfoursevenness of Bombay will certainly be missed in all aspects. Another oft repeated cliched thing that will be missed is the autorickshaws charging you as per the meter. Food-wise I have no complaints yet. There are some really nice restaurants around and many more waiting to be discovered. There is a bakery pretty close to my house and I am happy! Finally, I am still surprised at how positive my first post about Chennai has turned out to be and I hope the trend continues.

Bleh :-/

2011-09-29T23:15:00.000+05:30

Then you are left wondering how you could possibly fail to drive such an obvious point home. I guess you don't state the obvious when it concerns how you feel. A little guesswork helps. But then, I feel too old to play games. I wish things were more straightforward and that today of all days such thoughts would not occur to me! A better year awaits hopefully.

Ruba'i

2011-09-28T22:31:00.000+05:30

"Ah Love! could thou and I with Fate conspire
To grasp this sorry Scheme of Things entire,
Would not we shatter it to bits--and then
Re-mould it nearer to the Heart's Desire" - Rubayat of Omar Khayyam

This caught my imagination a long time back and came back to me today for some reason. I am sure it sounds better when read in Persian, but this translation is great all the same.

The list

2011-09-05T07:25:00.000+05:30

I have realized recently that I am a list person. I have a lot of lists. At this very moment I am crossing off items off my thesis submission checklist.Such lists always come and go, but there is the ever constant 'Do before I die' or 'Bucket list' however you may wish to call it. It is always evolving, many additions and few deletions take place. The yearly review of the list took place yesterday and I have managed to cross a few items off it.

One of the major items to be crossed off was visiting Old Trafford and watching a match there. I did that twice and the second time was better. My memories of Old Trafford will now include listening to the stories of an old man who has been watching Manchester United play for the last 40 years, watching Manchester United play their first home game of this season and winning it and receiving a complimentary scarf from Old Trafford for being a loyal supporter. It must be mentioned that I would have never had this fascination for football if it not had been for two close friends. I hope they check it off their wishlist very soon.

The second item to be crossed off the list was visiting Europe. I know studying just in the UK does not qualify as visiting Europe, so I will half cross it off. It has been the best year of my life so far. I have never enjoyed studying and living in a place more. As my multiple posts will indicate, I am in love with this city. Another thing that was struck off was watching it snow. Consequently the childish wishes of building a snowman, having a snowball fight and making snow angels were also fulfilled.

The yearly review together with a chance occurrence also induced envy. A person that I met recently seems to have an almost similar list. The envy inducing factor though is that he has done many of the things on my list. Each time I seem to mention some activity to him, it manifests itself as either photographs or emails with an intent of carrying out that activity. This is an impetus enough to get me moving on my list. I hope to have struck off five more items by next September.

The items include:
1) Visit Germany
2) Go whale watching
3) Winter trek in Ladakh/ Trek to Everest Base Camp
4) Spot the Great Indian Hornbill
5) Visit Andaman and Nicobar

I can tell that we are gonna be friends

2011-09-01T01:43:00.007+05:30

I have been on a White Stripes spree. Jolene has been the track played most often but the song that has put a slightly silly smile on my face is "I can tell that we are gonna be friends". Captures my mood perfectly for the last few days and the simplicity it has is great.

"Fall is here, hear the yell
Back to school, ring the bell
Brand new shoes, walking blues
Climb the fence, books and pens
I can tell that we are going to be friends
Yes I can tell that we are going to be friends
Walk with me Suzy Lee
Through the park and by the tree
We can rest upon the ground
And look at all the bugs we've found
Safely walk to school without a sound
We safely walk to school without a sound
Well here we are no one else
We walk to school all by ourselves
There's dirt on our uniforms
From chasing all the ants and worms
We clean up and now it's time to learn
We clean up and now it's time to learn
Numbers letters learn to spell
Nouns and books and show and tell
Play time we will throw the ball
Then back to class through the hall
The teacher marks our height against the wall
The teacher marks our height against the wall
And we don't notice any time pass
Because we don't notice anything
And we sit side by side in every class
The teacher thinks that I sound funny
But she likes it when you sing
Tonight I'll dream in my bed
While silly thoughts run through my head
Of the bugs and alphabet
And when I wake tomorrow I'll bet
That you and I will walk together again
Because I can tell that we are going to be friends
I can tell that we are going to be friends"

Bad vibrations!

2011-08-24T03:06:00.010+05:30

The molecule has picked up some vibrations
Putting me through trials and tribulations

The hotter it gets the more it jumps
The spectra has many more bumps

P and Q bands look the same
They have changed the rules of this game

I try my best to decipher your bands
I wonder where the Q stands

I need my sleep so help me out
Let me win just this one bout

I would write more, if it were not for the infrared methane spectrum..

I dont want to say goodbye

2011-08-19T02:19:00.003+05:30

I am going to leave without a trace
Just like you did

I am going to leave without a trace
Just like the rain drops which now brush my face

I am going to leave without a trace
Your imprints left permanent

I am going to leave without a trace
With the memories of all our happy days

I am going to leave without a trace
The present is becoming the past through which I gaze

Remember me, I might be back some day

Unfinished business

2011-08-09T16:02:00.005+05:30

Falling for a city is more tiresome than falling for a guy. You can never truly get over a city. You know that the city will let you have it and that is probably the difference between being in love with a city and a human being. I have always been falling for cities, it first started with Bombay and then Pune nudged in too. This time it is Manchester.

I love Manchester and it has been a slightly hurried affair. I guess both of us knew to begin with that it might not last but there was always the teasing element of hope. I have had the best year of my life here and I can say with conviction there have been more hits than misses. There has not been a single moment when I have felt homesick or wished I was someplace else. I have visited a few other cities here and none have managed to leave a mark like Manchester.

The nostalgia about my time here has already started to set in. I have just over three weeks left here and I have my thesis to write which is taking up all my time. There are a few sights of the city that I manage to catch every weekend and it just reinforces my liking for the city. I still love walking the streets which I have walked at least a few hundred times by now. The giant crab display at the University museum, the Hilton hotel and the Palace hotel at night still fascinate me.

I like the city center and how busy it is on weekends. By busy I mean some performing artists and guys who sells 'dancing Simpson figures'. I especially like the markets which are held every weekend at the city center. There are markets for almost every occasion and you are always assured of great food and drinks. The market closest to my heart is the Christmas market and I have a good mind to come back to Manchester, this December just for that.

The markets might not have been as much fun without the people that I went there with so they do deserve a small mention. Manchester might have still caught my imagination but not been half as interesting if it had not been for them. The long walks to every corner of the city, making up gang war stories about birds, scottish dances,watching football in pubs, salsa classes and my various eating expeditions are going to be sorely missed. I am going to miss turning up at someone's place during exams and insisting that they cook for me. I am going to miss the weekly breakfasts followed by conversations about everything from cancer to gazelles residing in people.

I have much left to say but my thesis suffers with this diversion. I cant find a suitable way to end this post. I will leave this post unfinished just like I will leave Manchester in a few weeks.

Sing me your song

2011-06-18T22:33:00.005+05:30

Song associations happen with everyone. You know hundreds of songs and ever so often associate them with different events, people and phases of your life. This post is my take on that.

500 miles

This was the first english song he remembered singing in public. He had a good voice and he used to go for Hindustani music classes. His music teacher thought he would be perfect as the lead singer for this song. He learnt the song and practiced it many times over with the girl who was supposed to sing with him. She had a great voice too. He often wondered where she was. Did she continue topping her class wherever she went? He also thought about how aptly the song described his life, now. At 23 with no job and a huge student loan to pay he could not go back just yet.

Here without you

The song made her weep uncontrollably. Her mind went through an emotional turmoil for those three minutes which springs only from a freshly begun long distance relationship. It was sickening to her. She thought it was the end of the world or maybe something worse. 7 years down the line it was a different tune of course.

Fuel

The first mark of rebellion in her. She had to pick something to define herself and defy the expected. Teenage years are turbulent but they leave discernible marks of their chaos in you. Metallica was the way out. It made her feel powerful and gave her the confidence which her looks did not provide. It gave her the false security of being better than her peers. She was different and this acted as a good springboard. However, it remained just a springboard. The fall was inevitable. Now, she was looking to integrate into normalcy. Old habits die hard though.

Iris

It was doomed to begin with. They both knew it. The age old intractable traditions. Conforming to what the society deems right. This song captured exactly what they both had to say to each other. It was a karaoke night and she sang it for him. He did not know the lyrics too well and listened to it with a resigned expression. Resigned to fate and to the fact that her voice was just not suited to singing.

Snow

The only neutral song for him. It was the one song which was "his" as he liked to believe. He had no events associated with it, no person associated with it. He could find some peace with that song. It did not send him spiralling into the past or hurtling into the future. It kept him in the present. That's what your favourite song should be.

Hard to Concentrate

Everyone looks for their relationship song. They proudly strut it around, "our song" they call it. He wanted this to be "her" song. If the girl he eventually fell in love with would agree, this had to be the song he would sing to her. It was too embarrassing for him to admit that he had even thought of such a thing. But, it was at least a non cheesy song in his opinion.

Two birds with one stone

2011-06-06T17:34:00.002+05:30

The first one had to die
The second one was an untimely death
I busy myself making their casket
But maybe in it I will lie

The tombstone carries their respective names
One a martyr for the other's cause
Birds of a feather
Died together

Blog friend protocol?

2011-05-21T03:58:00.003+05:30

I have come across a few random blogs where people have befriended each other through the blog. Some of them have gone as far as getting married eventually. Another form of digital romance I guess. This makes me wonder about the protocol to befriend someone through your blog. How long is one supposed to wait before you make the next move? What is the next move? I think it would be facebook. I should try it, but then again most people who comment on my blog already know me. Falling for someone through a blog is too far fetched for me. One of these days I will figure out unwritten laws of befriending people on blogs. It should go up on the 'Useless things to do in this year list', very soon.

Breakfast

2011-05-19T21:27:00.005+05:30

If I made a pie chart of what thoughts occupy my mind the most it would have to be work, random activities like sports,reading etc and food. The ratio is 3:2 between work and the other two grouped together. The random activity and food section is fluctuating in nature. Food can easily occupy the full 40% sometimes. Which brings me to the title of the blogpost, breakfast. It is my favourite meal of the day. There are so many places where I found the perfect breakfast. It made sense to dedicate an entire post to that.

First on the list is breakfast at Mondegar's. The full breakfast with omlette, buttered toast and a glass of juice. The food is great but what adds the special touch is the jukebox. Early in the morning it is belting out music by The Doors or Pink Floyd. I love the combination. Its the perfect note to start your day on. Next up (quite literally) is Wich Latte. They some delicious breakfast bagels and the standard fare of omlettes and sandwiches as well. The bagels come in a variety of flavours and fillings. There is always the option of some breakfast dessert as well!

Continuing with places in Bombay, there is Crepe Station. Its the top on my list for 'guilty pleasure breakfast'. The reason being they serve the perfect waffles. A slight crunchiness on the outside yet soft to bite into. It comes with maple syrup or any other sauce you please. Their normal breakfast fare is quite good too which features even parathas and upma. Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf is also similar with respect to the food when compared to Crepe Station and it opens at 7:45 am which is great! But, the best breakfast omlettes in Bombay are found in Koolar & Co. Their kheema pav is also one of the most sought after dishes. I love the ambience there and the very colourful owner too. The waiters are jolly and remind me of Santa Claus.

There are a few more places which I could go on about but I would like to keep this short. The next city is Pune. My favourite place in Pune for breakfast was German Bakery. I discovered their breakfast fare quite late. It was only after I was half way through my engineering course that I discovered it. They had some very different juices like honey melon which I used to thoroughly enjoy. I liked the fresh fruit bowls and bread as well. Needless to say I was shattered when it was torn apart during the bomb blast. Another place which deserves a mention is Vaishali. Every Puneite will swear by it. They have the best south Indian food in town. The fact that it is packed with people early in the morning is a testament to how good it is.

The final destination is Manchester. The best breakfast here is undoubtedly available in my kitchen. I offer coffee, hot chocolate, omlettes with every concievable filling, waffles with maple syrup and toast with butter or Nutella. I am an expert in tossing omlettes now. Its a six sigma process too! Lets be honest here though. I have not really had the opportunity to try too many breakfasts in Manchester. Its either because I have a class early in the morning or its a tad too expensive. I have tried the full english breakfast once and it is very filling! Though, I would much rather have a coffee instead of the traditional tea. More on Manchester breakfasts later!

The charmed life

2011-05-18T03:55:00.004+05:30

I am enjoying being a student to the hilt. Being a postgraduate student probably makes a huge difference. There is enough work to keep you occupied for the entire day and yet there is carefree feeling associated with it. The so called adult pressures of earning, "office work", bill payments are the last thing on your mind. Yes, the money paid for the course is quite a hefty amount but its not playing in your head every month like rent payments do.

Cheap thrills of being a student also deserves a mention. The student discounts at various shops, cheap food at the university campus and the supposed discounted rates for all parties. Out of all the experiences of being a student, the one I am enjoying the most is living in a student accommodation. Its a nice flat with only the kitchen and common room being shared amongst all the occupants. The hygiene levels are certainly questionable but its still inhabitable. I like the fact that if I am bored of cooking I can just pop over to someone's flat for a meal. I like my study lamp because that combined with the books completes my 'student feeling'.

I even like the exams I have to take. I am enjoying studying for them. The pressure to perform well exists but its more of a motivation. The pressure has become the pleasure if we were to apply the pain and pleasure principle to this. (Yes, thats a perverted statement taken on its own). Now I wish the masters course lasted another year, just so that I could bask in the student feeling for a bit longer. Its commendable how I have the urge to blog just a couple of days before my exam. Yet another student feeling! As exams draw closer the number of distracting activities increase exponentially. Ok, must study now.

Lets begin over

2011-05-17T03:18:00.004+05:30

"I wanted you to see what real courage is, instead of getting the idea that courage is a man with a gun in his hand. It's when you know you're licked before you begin but you begin anyway and you see it through no matter what. You rarely win, but sometimes you do." - To Kill A Mockingbird.

This is one of my favourite quotes. I read this book when I was very young and no other description of courage had seemed more apt to me. It would be a tad too much to say that it inspires me now. It used to when I was younger. I even managed to spend an entire night in my bedroom despite knowing there was a cockroach on the floor.

Having reached a cul-de-sac in terms of inspiration, I turn to my old muse once more. I need that exact kind of courage. A handful of not very interested companies, unrequited crush and non funded PhD positions can certainly sap out the best from you. The song for the mood is Coming Back to Life. A cliche, but what a beautiful one at that.

Despair

2011-04-28T21:30:00.003+05:30

Probably an overestimation of my strength or the ease of the task. It does not help that each time I build up the resistance, it crumbles and I have to start over. I watch the slow tortured death and I still hope that someday things will change. There is no one to blame. The feelings attached are unrequited and I hope it dies soon. Its strange and its reaching a crescendo. Its going to be in Tsunami like proportions when it hits.
At this point, I wish I could write down something lame and say that the aforementioned sentences were all about my tryst with chocolate or a similar "surprise" ending. Unfortunately, I have made so many jokes about it that all of it fails to amuse me. Its a sickening and hollow feeling. A continuous exhausting fight with loss at the end. Lets embrace despair with grace.

Goodbye closure

2011-04-21T23:04:00.003+05:30

Self preservation instincts had been discarded a while back. Then, I slowly cut off my fingers. Now, I wont be able to pick up the discarded bits of self preservation even if I want to.

Jaunt

2011-04-11T18:25:00.000+05:30

The wanderlust is back
Stifled thoughts to be set free
Its time to leave
To go on an adventure spree

What does the day bring?
Why does this song ring?
I dont want you to come with me
You are the stymie

A short jaunt
Maybe just around the street
No more trips down the memory lane
There must be new experiences to greet

Nostalgia on strike

2011-03-31T20:47:00.005+05:30

Since I have come to Manchester, I have not missed India. I have not missed my life back home, the people or even the food. I have had too many things going on to be able to feel the absence of anything. Besides, I have some really good friends here so I have never felt lonely. I have not experienced the pangs of nostalgia either.

But, cricket does strange things to you. The feeling of watching a match in India is completely different. Yes, the Indians here are equally enthused about watching the match. We even watch it together on a huge screen and cheer throughout the match. But, there are no neighbours screaming each time India takes a wicket or the batsman hits a four. You cant go walking down the street and find a huge crowd outside each TV showroom. You cant ask people on the road for the score. The mad celebration that follows big victories cant be seen. The solidarity(for lack of a better word) is missing.

The feeling of absolute euphoria cannot be experienced here. After the India-Pakistan match, a lot of people spilled onto the roads. They were dancing, singing and waving the Indian flag which was too boisterous for the people here. The policeman came almost immediately and the celebration was cut short. There were also no firecrackers heard! Yes, the celebration is incomplete without them. Thats when nostalgia struck. I missed being back home. (I am sure my sulking or jitterniess or rage was not missed by my family). The feeling or atmosphere of watching a match back home cannot be recreated here. The frenzy and chaos cannot be captured. The elation is also expressed in a muted way. Damn, I wish I was back home for the finals.

Bits of random from my head

2011-03-29T04:58:00.004+05:30

I have been unable to write long posts. I have plenty of things to write about. But I am afraid its all going to sound slightly whiny and I would hate to do that. The other reason to avoid long posts has been the same thoughts that have been going around in my head for a while.

So, how does one cure sort of writer's block? Yes, it is going to be the very cliched, "Lets talk about the weather". But, the weather does deserve its share of praise. Its been perfect lately. In fact, the last week was so warm that I could manage to walk around without a jacket. The sun has been shining bright and all that comes to my mind when I see such weather is a couple of lines from the poem, 'The Inchcape Rock'. It reads,

'He felt the cheering power of spring
It made him whistle, it made him sing'

Great weather has resulted in longer walks as well. Another reason to be happy. New parks, graveyards and roads were discovered on these jaunts. Yes, the graveyard was quite interesting. It had tombs from the 1800s and very ornate ones at that. I have always liked looking at graves, the older the better for me. Its a queer feeling of wonder.

Irish music and Scottish dancing were also discovered over the last few weeks, both of which I enjoyed immensely. The Ceilidh (Scottish Dance) is a monthly event held at a pub nearby and is a complete, uninhibited riot! Groups of couples bouncing around, prancing around and behaving like dashing cars. I have never had so much fun dancing and given my dancing skills, this dance is indeed a blessing.

February had started off in a bad way. Too many rejections to cope with. Learning to cope with grace makes matters difficult, but its probably a better way in the long run. Life went on and took a few nice turns in the following weeks. Now, I feel more collected and calm. Using a waste water analogy (since thats what I am working on). The coagulation and flocculation is done and over with. Its just time to settle and be separated.

Freedom

2011-03-03T05:39:00.003+05:30

Nothing changed yet I did
Feelings morphed into freedom
The warmth now frigid
I have banished myself from your kingdom

Musing

2011-02-24T05:00:00.002+05:30

The drawback of an extremely fertile imagination can sometimes be creating a million hypothetical situations in your head. Situations that may never happen but you seem to come up with them anyway and plot how to deal with them. I am tired of thinking today.

Lesson learnt

2011-02-15T04:25:00.004+05:30

All that I had to do was draw a line. How hard can it be? I am an engineer after all. But after a lot of trial and error( trials and tribulations?), I can safely say that I have perfected the art of drawing a line. Ha! C.V to be updated right now.

Silence

2011-01-31T04:17:00.002+05:30

A few words to express
Suppress
It comes back again
In vain?
I think I should tell you all
Stall
What hope lengthens, rejection curtails
Silence still prevails

Stuck in my head

2011-01-28T05:17:00.002+05:30

This is an excerpt from My Friend Sancho. The description is apt. Though, it would be nice to see the brain win a few battles.

"In the red corner, Heart. In the blue corner, Brain. The bell rings. Brain steps out and weaves in a cerebral manner, footwork assured, technique impeccable. Heart, saunters out, belches and swings wildly. A few seconds later, Brain is on the floor, trying to breathe. Heart, like a WWF wrestler, climbs onto the ropes at the side of the ring and dives onto Brain, elbow first. Brain goes into coma. Heart raises arms triumphant over an enemy that never had a chance in the first place."

Knock Knock

2011-01-18T05:46:00.003+05:30

Dear Opportunity,

Everyone wants you. You are the most desired thing on this planet. Well, amongst the billion other doors that you knock, please stop by mine too. Its white in colour(the smell from the kitchen is a giveaway).
You should knock on my door because its time. Yes, I am ready now. I have prepared in every way possible. I have also learnt to be very patient as you would know. I have been told that if I dont get you now, a better version of you comes along. I would rather have you now with all your follies. I like you exactly the way you are. I know all about you because I have stalked you often. I followed you around trying to abduct you and I have no shame in admitting that.
People pray to various Gods to direct you to them. But, I am cutting the middleman out. I don't think he has the power that a blog letter has. Shocked you with that astute observation did I not? Another reason why I deserve you.

Regards,
Madhuri

P.S. I hope you appreciate humour. I wrote this for you.

Knock
Who's there?
Opportunity
Its just a knock knock joke, you can knock here twice!!

Short story

2011-01-16T04:12:00.002+05:30

"Hope set me up!", yelled Presumptuousness as he was being dragged away by Disappointment.

Grasp weakens

2011-01-04T04:30:00.003+05:30

Back and forth it went
Your turn and then mine
The ball rested in my court

I tossed it around
Tried to get you to play
Invented a new game every day

It was to no avail
Hopeful attempts repeatedly
Turned down finally

The fun we had in the carefree times
Is etched in my head
I wish it had lasted

Change has come
I tried keeping it at bay
Resistance and denial all the way

I did underestimate
The sneakiness with which it did permeate
It isn't too bad anymore
To move on and see what's in store

The people you meet in a student accomodation

2010-12-30T18:04:00.006+05:30

Idiot grinners: Mostly people with a poor command over english. They dont have the slightest notion of what is being said to them. For instance, "Thats the fire alarm, I think we should call security.". They stare at you with a huge grin. "I am going to chop you into little tiny pieces". Unfazed, the grin grows wider still.

Lonelys: The perpetual look of gloom on their faces gives it away. So, does the incessant Skyping! It is far more annoying than the whiny baby Akon song, which is their anthem. A simple, "How are you?" would yield an answer involving everything from their grandparents health to how they miss their pillow back home.

Filthies: These guys should be evenly spread out. Its unfair to those who have to put up with more than one of them. They leave their mark everywhere, literally! Surest sign that they are around, is the state of your kitchen. Hobs with remains from the mesozoic era, waste in various stages of decomposition lining your floor and noodles floating in the sink.

Chronic socializers: They can be seen and heard everywhere. They must attend every possible party over the weekend and instantly upload photos of it on Facebook. God forbid, someone assumes that they are not having fun. The easiest way to identify them is from their Facebook profiles(since you cant meet them in person). A few million photos showing how they entered the party, where they hung their coats, different dancing poses and some random fuzzy pictures will be uploaded. The camera angle is a giveaway, unable to find someone to click those few milllion photos they are often forced to do it themselves.

Chameleons: This is mostly Indians guys. When amongst other Indians, they are usually normal. The moment a foreigner joins the group their behaviour changes instantly, along with their name. They make a bigger fool of themselves than when trying to impress a girl. The accent is modified for the supposed ease of understanding of the foreigner, who stands gawking at the barrage of nonsensical words.

Parasites: They borrow everything from you and steal your peace of mind. Whats yours is undoubtedly theirs too. You may have to feed them, wash them and clean up after them. There is no certain way to identify this type. Though, you should be cautious about answering questions relating to your cooking abilities. The parasites have a special tuning to pick up the answers.

More to follow soon.

Law of diminishing returns

2010-12-29T16:10:00.002+05:30

Sometimes, the futility of effort is remarkable. Your effort is the only input source that has been increasing consistently and with each passing day the results seem bleaker. With so much of your effort invested(wasted?) in it, abandoning does not seem to be a good option. The driving force of this is false hope generated by your denial. The denial is inversely proportional to your returns which explains why you sustain the effort.
The wise thing to do once all this strikes you? Throw in the towel.

The feeling where

2010-12-29T05:02:00.002+05:30

Your irritation with some fairly trivial part of your day spills over to everything else. You can identify that but it does not stall the feeling. Aspects of your life which you were already unhappy about, now seem to loom larger. That moment of frustration gives enough impetus to make some changes, for the better.

London

2010-12-25T03:11:00.005+05:30

Its difficult to write an unbiased note about London. I have already mentioned how much it reminded me of Bombay and that is reason enough for me to like it. The sense of deja vu each time I stepped out was hard to shake off. The days went by in a blur and three days is hardly enough time to explore the city.

I love to walk around while exploring a city. On all the days of my stay we took the bus to a different part of the city and spent the rest of the day walking around. There were many occassions where I regretted that, because of the stinging cold. The icy wind made it inexplicably worse. Every three hours I had to have a hot drink to keep going. It started off with coffees at Starbucks to hot chocolate at Paul's pattisserie at Waterloo station. My friend claimed it was the best hot chocolate that he had tasted. It was really good, but it paled in comparison to the hot chocolate we discovered at chocolatier Paul A Young's shop. Made with 70% dark chocolate and spices it was exquisite!

Borough Market provided many more delightful food related adventures. The array of cheesecakes, muffins and cakes was the first sight that greeted you. A range of meats, cheeses, and exotic meats followed. Though, I don't think Santa Claus would have been too happy with the reindeer meat burgers that were being sold. Ostrich feathers and eggs were also on sale. The most common item though was mulled wine. Every other stall had a huge container of it and rightly so. Hot, sweet and subtly spiced it is the perfect antidote to the chilly weather.

Culinary trips apart, I went to the London Dungeons. Its a horror show and ride combined together. I was a bit underwhelmed at the end of it, but some parts like the boat ride through hell and the final bit were quite fun. The next place we visited was the Imperial War Museum which was very interesting. There was an entire floor dedicated to the World Wars and two floors for large exhibits. The V2 missile, submarines and tanks were some of the best exhibits that I saw. Another place which deserves a mention is Harrod's! It is quite cliched but it was so delightful to see all the toys. I would have loved to buy the LOTR chess set or the collector's edition of Brainvita. It was also interesting to see how they had exploited the Harry Potter mania and created wands, the maps and all other items found in the book.

We skipped the usual trips to Madam Tussaud's and British Museum, choosing instead to walk around the city more. A walk around Liverpool street yielded an interesting conversation with a cafe owner. We spoke about football(its degradation), Polish immigrants and how he hates the weather. It is such random and unplanned encounters which infuse more excitement into the trip.

The trip culminated with a visit to the Christmas Market at Hyde Park. I had thoroughly enjoyed the Christmas Market in Manchester and the one at London was not very different. The only difference was that it was a much bigger market and had some fantastic rides. At my insistence all my friends tried the Bratwurst and loved it. I am seriously contemplating becoming a prophet and starting the religion of Bratwurst. It would be the easiest religion to follow since all you have to do is eat Bratwurst and worship a grill. Serious contemplation on this later!

Despite raving about how much the city is like Bombay, I still like Manchester better. It is a weird realization since I do like big cities much better. However, the trip was fantastic. I met some new people, caught up with an old friend and discovered a new city. The familiarity which I felt despite visiting London for the first time was surprising. It was delightful to see the lighting everywhere and experience the Christmas spirit. A lot of the city is still to be explored and I hope to go back soon.

Deja Vu

2010-12-22T03:31:00.002+05:30

You have seen the hurriedness before. You have felt time go by at a scorching pace. You have experienced the mad rush in the train. You have been in the same tune of speed while walking. You have travelled back from the city's poshest area, to your house which is in a quintessential middle class setting. It was a complete sense of deja vu when I saw London. It was everything I had seen in Bombay.

A very short musing which had to be posted. More on this later.

Lesson learnt?

2010-12-11T05:11:00.002+05:30

Procrastination, especially when it comes to dealing with feelings is going to explode in your face.

Signs that you are uncool

2010-12-02T20:11:00.003+05:30

1. You don't think trousers hanging way below your butt is a fashion statement.

2. Misspelling words by using multiple letters, is something you never think of doing. Lets say, something like Angellllzzzz

3. On the same note, using z instead of s in words when you are misspelling them.

4. You dont appreciate listening to music in the speaker phone mode on you cellphone, you would rather use headphones.

5. You would like to be well read and generally informed about the basic things in life.

6. Partying till five on every Friday, Saturday and Sunday in the nightclubs with the same hip-hop or house music, is not your cup of tea.

7. You would not like to potray yourself as being complex and misunderstood. You like to keep it simple

8. You dont like Vampires and other related creatures, especially reading about them.

9. You think SMS lingo is not a time saver and is actually very stupid.

Snow vs 4-0

2010-12-01T04:49:00.002+05:30

It snowed for the first time today. It is my first experience with snow. I was very excited. Then came the match and Manchester United lost 4-0. My happiness evaporated, instantly.
On a happier note, there is no happier note. Aargghhh!

Quote for the day

2010-11-28T07:41:00.002+05:30

"It’s hard to wait around for something you know might never happen; but it’s even harder to give up when you know it’s everything you want."

I guess this sums up most situations in life. Its a continous extended bet with yourself, with the odds changing every now and then.

Tis the season to be jolly

2010-11-21T21:32:00.004+05:30

The countdown to Christmas has already begun here. There was an official ceremony where the lights were switched on. Then came the Christmas markets. There are around five different kinds of Christmas markets here, including the European market, German market and the French market. Yesterday we visited the German market and it was fantastic.

I was accompanied by a German and it was nice to see the excitement on his face when he spotted the food and drink stalls. We walked around the market to see what it had to offer. The aroma of baking infused with chocolate and caramel wafted through the air. I was delirious when I spotted a stall called the Schoko King. It had chocolate skewers temptingly arranged. All imaginable fruits coated with milk, white and dark chocolate were available. There was a stall dedicated only to marshmallows as well. Having looked at most of the stalls, we made a beeline for the major food stall, where we ordered Bratwurst and flavoured mushrooms. To say the least it was one of the best things I have ever eaten. I cant wait to go back there and have more! The food was washed down with at least three different kinds of hot chocolate for me and wheat beers for my friend. Having, stuffed ourselves we walked around the market again, this time making stops at all the chocolate and dessert stalls. I bought the marshmallows and sugar coated almonds. The piece de resistance however was the chocolate skewer. It tasted even better than it looked.

We spent most of our time eating amidst conversations about Christmas in Germany. Christmas has always held a fairytale like quality for me. Its probably because as a child it had this pristine look in the books and the concept of Santa Claus was very exciting. My parents made sure to give me gifts as well, from Santa Claus. For all these reasons and more I have loved the idea of Christmas and the German Christmas market is a wonderful addition to my notion about Christmas.

Bittersweet

2010-11-15T22:47:00.002+05:30

The perfect opportunity is right in front of you. The imperfections in that seemingly perfect too. But, you cant have it. You can marvel at it everyday, because its within sight yet out of grasp. It would be much easier if you could replace the feeling of wonder with resentment, for not getting that opportunity. But, its too perfect to let that feeling seep in. Watch, wonder and wait.

Papercut

2010-11-14T04:28:00.001+05:30

Sometimes, a papercut is more painful than your arm being wrenched out.

Sometimes..

2010-11-08T20:41:00.002+05:30

The absurdity of an idea keeps you from acting on it. I wish I had that notion of absurdity hanging heavy in my head, just for this once.

Things I love doing in Manchester list

2010-11-04T04:31:00.002+05:30

Its list making time! I wanted to write about so many different things that I like doing here, that it made sense to put it in a list. Here goes..

1) Going for very long walks. The maximum till date, has been four hours. I am fortunate to have very good company with me. When we discovered our common joy for walking, we went for a walk almost everyday. We went to a new street every time and now I am the official street guide for most people!

2) Eating a nice leisurely breakfast. One which includes waffles, omelettes, strawberries and some really strong coffee.

3) Shopping for grocery almost every week. I manage to pick up a new type of chocolate or chocolate related food item, every time I shop. The variety baffles me and I am certainly not complaining!I have the unhealthiest shopping cart every time I shop.

4) Celebrating things like Halloween. I had a brilliant time dressing up and dressing people up. Putting make up on boys was particularly amusing and I did a pretty good job for a first timer.

5) Hanging out in the common room. On a relaxed weekend, we play fussball and table tennis. The competition is intense, for a supposed relaxed evening.

6) Wearing boots! Yes, this is one thing which thrills me. I have never been able to wear boots in Bombay for obvious reasons, but here, I can strut around in them all the time!

7) Playing football. We play once a week and it is something I thoroughly enjoy. Running till you are completely out of breath, getting whacked in the face by the football and bringing down guys twice your size (accidentally!).

The Perfect Day

2010-10-28T01:42:00.003+05:30

Nothing spectacular happened today. There was not a single extraordinary event in the entire day, yet, it was one of the perfect days. All little innocuous things put together, it resulted in a fantastic day.

It started off with me waking up to something wonderful. I delayed getting up to the maximum possible limit, which lead to a hurried shower and coffee. This was followed by dashing down the stairs, further on till I finally caught the bus. After a relaxed day at the museum, I came back to maple syrup.

Yes, maple syrup, which I had been wanting to buy for the longest time. When I finally found a jar, it turned out to be too expensive to qualify as a necessity. A week later though, I was gifted that jar of syrup by a friend of mine. I dont think I have ever been happier with a gift. Sure, its nice to get expensive gifts, but its gestures like these that make your day. The fact that he remembered, I wanted it. It was a whim, but its nice when certain whims are catered to. I had the idiot grin plastered on my face when he gave it to me. The same idiot grin returned when I came back home and saw it. I ate waffles with maple syrup.

I spent most of the evening reading and chatting on facebook. Mundane conversations, yet it was enjoyable. I am exhausted right now, yet it is the happy kind of exhaustion. Yes, it feels like I am wearing the happiness tinted glasses for now. Its a good feeling, fleeting though it may be. The major reason is the maple syrup and similar things that the friend has done for me. Thank you for making it such a wonderful day. Much love and appreciation for all that you have done!

Random note

2010-10-24T02:40:00.002+05:30

Having spent all day in the room, for the first time since I have come here, has led to a few random thoughts. The first musing is on love, a clichéd emotion by now. I think I am cynical about it. Not because I have been unlucky in it or have been rejected, or any such reason. It's just too weird an emotion to express sometimes. The boundaries are forever changing. Sometimes there is no distinction between love and lust. I am not judging whether it is right or not. Too much thought goes into the process of love. It is seemingly too complex, for a pure simple emotion. Maybe, it does not exist at all.

Second musing, is about Shantaram. I love the book. It is one of the most well written books I have read and re-read. Every time I read the book, some different aspect comes through. The reason why I love the book so much, could also be because it is set in my favourite city. It is a celebration of Bombay. Almost every quote in the book manages to strike a chord somewhere.

A few quotes which seem very relevant to me at this time...

"Optimism is the first cousin of love, and its exactly like love in three ways; its pushy, it has no real sense of humor and it turns up where you least expect it."

“We all strive to do one good thing to balance all the wrong that we have done in the past'

"A dream is a place where a wish and a fear meet. When the wish and fear are exactly the same, we call the dream a nightmare."

"Fate gives all of us three teachers, three friends, three enemies, and three great loves in our lives. But these twelve are always disguised, and we can never know which one is which until we've loved them, left them, or fought them."

What sets us apart

2010-10-22T21:10:00.005+05:30

I meet a lot of new people on almost an everyday basis here. There are plenty of interactions over Fussball, table tennis or even on a grocery store visit. There are some people who are fantastic conversationalists and there is never an 'awkward silence' moment. Its always easy to speak for the first time, since you can ask about general things like their course or where they are from. But, how do you sustain the same throughout repeated interactions with people?

In case of people, like usually attracts like. People from the same country will tend to stick together. There is comfort in the familiarity. You understand each other's language and the sense of humour is also pretty similar. The food, music and other art forms will also be a binding factor. You have all these things to talk about. These elements go missing sometimes if you are communicating with people from other nationalities. The stereotypes then come through. If you see a British guy, talk to him about football or if its a German, talk to him about beer. Then what?

Fortunately due to the internet the world has become a much smaller place. Our sense of humour has become more global. To me that factor seems to be the most important one. If you find the same things funny, chances are that you might find adequate things to talk about. You might even share the same views on things which you consider offensive, in which case you wont upset the other person easily. I have observed that even when two people are having a good conversation, some flippant comment about a sensitive issue, destroys the mood completely.

Its fun to converse with new people. Things which seem mundane and quite ordinary to you are seemingly very surprising to them. I mean, one of my friends here is not conversant with GI Joes. He is a boy! He should have played with them at least once, shouldn't he? Watching the horror on people's faces when you show them a video of a Virar fast is also sadistically pleasing. I also had a fun time showing someone how to eat rotis. The concept of not using cutlery was alien to them. I really enjoy these tiny culture shocks! What sets us apart invariably brings us together too.

Confusion

2010-10-17T00:28:00.004+05:30

This is a very short musing. Certain events over the last few days have left me confused. How can you say something when you know for certain in your head that you mean to say exactly the opposite? The dissonance of the words and the thoughts. The panic button is pushed, and you say things you don't mean. Then you mull over it... I am still mulling over it.

Manchester - Fire, Plagiarism and more

2010-10-09T13:46:00.004+05:30

As of today, I have spent three weeks in Manchester. I have grown to appreciate the weather now. The orderliness of the traffic still unnerves me. What is the point of roads if you cant create a jam once in a while? The absence of any animal except the human beings on the roads is also slightly eerie sometimes. No scavenging street dogs or even the occasional elephant which plods along. Nothing! When I expressed my displeasure about this aspect to a phoren(foreign :-) ) friend of mine, he was fairly puzzled. "What are street dogs? Who owns them?", he asked. "No one does! They are stray. They belong to no one.", I explained. "Well I have never seen any stray animals back home in Germany.", he said. I did not know what else to say, clearly he would never be able to understand my anguish.

Anyway, my classes have finally begun. Last week, we had an introductory module. When we were first told about it, we assumed it would be one of the easier modules. We made grand plans for the entire week all of which came crashing down when the professor told us that by the end of the week he expected to assess 50% of the marks allocated to the subject. Three presentations in one week and we were exhausted. Submission time in engineering prepares you for long hours, but not for long hours where you have to use your head too. Needless to say, it was exhausting. This week has been a bit more relaxed but work has begun to pile up already. I have to design a waste water treatment plant as a part of coursework and write a book for another module. Surprisingly, I am looking forward to both assignments!

Talking about assignments, the one thing I have been warned against repeatedly is plagiarism. We have been told at least a few million times to quote our references, even if we take information from the net(Wikipedia included). This is a worrying factor for many, especially those coming from an education system which encourages studying by rote. Fire is probably the only thing which has been mentioned more than referencing. So, much so that a friend of mine commented that the British show you the fire exits before they introduce themselves! Yes, fire is a threat, it could cause widespread damage. But, the fear of fire almost borders on paranoia here.

Handy note: shout "FIRE", in case you are getting mugged, because that is the quickest way to grab anyone's attention here!

Manchester - First Impressions

2010-09-21T23:26:00.004+05:30

I am finally here in Manchester! I have been here for a week, but what with all the partying I have not had the time to blog( Yes, it felt very good to say that!). The first thing I noticed was the chilly weather. It has taken me a while to get used to this and I still cant say that I can withstand the cold. I wear at least three layers before stepping out. The women here same strangely resistant to the cold. They walk around in shorts or really tiny skirts. Some of them do have stockings on. But, that cant surely keep you warm! Just to ascertain that fact, I walked around in a dress and stockings yesterday. Lets put it mildly and say that I froze to death.

This week was relaxed since classes start on the coming Monday. The main road along which the university is located, resembled a carnival. There were all kinds of freebies being handed out, there were open top double decker buses moving around with people dancing on them and the likes of that. There were also hundreds of parties which were being advertised. It looks as though the whole student population is at some party or the other for the entire week. Well, that is exactly what I have been doing as well! Everything from Barbecues to masquerades, karaoke and hip-hop has been covered in the last week. Most of this was organized by our Residential Asscoiation which goes to show how active they are! Opal Gardens is turning out to be one of the best places to live in!

I have also struck off one important thing from 'My things to do before I die' list. I went to Old Trafford. The experience was spiritual to say the least. The moment I walked out of the tunnel and saw the stadium for the first time, I had goosebumps. It is a spectacular view. Its very regal and imposing. The stark contrast of the colours green and red stands out. I was at my high pitched and squeaky best when I was walking all around. But, so were most others in the group. It was truly an awesome experience.

I would not mind rambling on, but I can see the first glimpse of the sun for the day. Such an opportunity cannot be wasted!

Goodbye again

2010-09-07T22:50:00.003+05:30

The happiness is back again,
Things are poised for a fresh beginning
But there is something still lingering

A goodbye said long ago,
Has surfaced now and refuses to go

"Goodbye", I had shouted,
Willing myself to turn away
When you refused to budge or even sway

Our lives now, are boxed and set
In separate tracks as though we never met

Yet, today I think of you,
The happiness is mine
I wish you would share it too.

Once bitten twice shy
Your belief in that has made me shy

It was just silliness on my part,
A childish and honest mistake
The walls of forced unfamiliarity you should break
A humble request for what is at stake

Having written all this down,
The lingering is now gone,
Happiness is spreading now
Goodbye said for the penultimate time.

Idle thoughts

2010-08-17T22:16:00.003+05:30

Sometimes, its all about timing. Well, its always about the timing. So many events in our lives happen just at the right time or just at the wrong time. People we meet at various points of lives or the choices we make. It all boils down to the timing.

Meeting an old friend, made me think about this. He seemed to belong to an entirely different life of mine. I was left wondering, how things would have been if we had met now instead of four years earlier. The disagreements that pushed us apart, might not have happened at all and we could still be friends. At least, I wish we were still friends.

Things happen for a reason or not. Maybe its all just random. It does not take much to make the tide ebb or flow. Now, my thoughts are all over the place. Wistfulness is the mood. Fickleness of all human beings is also quite baffling. Lets reserve that for another post.

Logo

2010-07-31T11:27:00.002+05:30

"I need the perfect logo for my Gym", he said. "Sir, that should be a fairly easy job. We designed four in the last month", said the designer with a hint of pride in his voice. "That run of the mill stuff wont do for me. Mine has to be unique. Take two months time, if you wish. Dont take up any other assignments. I will pay you for all of it.". he said with finality and walked out.

The gym was inaugurated in the following week. The building just had a board which said JIM's GYM. Soon, the number of members started increasing and his gym was doing good business. He was a fitness instructor himself and took special pride in helping obese people lose weight. He maintained a count of the number of people he helped and always took the fattest clients. But, he always had one supremely fit and toned client too, to use as an example.

Two months were soon up and he still did not have his logo. His designer had come up with "common trash", as he put it. He was growing impatient now and as he watched his supremely fit client work out, an idea struck him. Yes, many gym logos were inspired by the human body. But, his would be different. He approached her after her workout. "So, how would you like to be our gym's logo?", he asked with a smile. She looked taken aback. "I dont know...Wont everyone know who I am then? It will attract undue attention.", she said. "Well, in the beginning it will be. But later no one will care. Come on! You are perfect for it.", he said. "Alright. I guess you are right. To be honest, a bit of fame never killed anyone. When do you want to do this?", she asked

"Well, right away. This way please.", he ushered her into his office. He worked hard on the logo and it was soon ready. He called his designer, to look at his creation. "The young rascal needs to learn what originality and novelty is all about.", he thought. The designer walked in with an intent to express contempt at his client's design. The moment he looked at the logo, he was stupefied."What kind of a depraved madman is he?". He let out a blood curling scream and ran out.

"Come back you rascal! This is the perfect human body logo. Dont you see? There is a personal touch to it. Pun intended." he shouted

An ode to Veggie Delite

2010-07-25T23:42:00.002+05:30

Since I have lost a bet, this is what I have been asked to do. Write an ode to my favourite Subway sandwich.

Yes, go on and make fun of me
All because I am a veggie
Yes, go on and discriminate
By giving me a green plate!

But, before you do just take a bite
Of this sandwich called Veggie Delite
Scrumptious and awesome in every way
It never fails to make my day

Veggie Delite I love you so
Everyday my obsession with you does grow
I love the crunchy veggies,
The assortment of sauces and the cheese.

Making my sub is always a fun game,
Any day with you is never the same
Choice they say is limited for me,
But I dont care if I have you Veggie

Chicken, beef and Calamari do taste good
But nothing ever does uplift my mood
Like a well assembled Veggie Delite
It is also a fantastic sight

I love every bite of you
An explosion of flavours every time I chew
Your zest, zing and colourful taste
Will lay the best cooked meat to waste!

Why?

2010-07-21T23:17:00.002+05:30

Listlessness prevails. Frustration oozes in from an infinite source.
Football madness lingers. The hoarse throats, shouts and yells.
Procrastination of dealing with emotions. The bridge has been crossed now.
Writer's block had to be conquered. There is so much to say though.
A friend is gone. Void, gaping open.
Indecision is the gravity now.Madhuri:Newton:: Apple:?
There is a reason. There always is.

Toilet Training

2010-05-14T15:57:00.000+05:30

One of life's many unanswered questions is, "Why do women go to washrooms in groups?" Now, if you are in a shady bar, I can understand someone taking their friend along to wait outside. But, when women do this everyday at offices, it baffles me.

When I had just started working, a group of trainees(girls) had been asked to help us settle down. Unknown to the perils that lay ahead, I asked one of them where the washroom was. She tells me, "Chal main bhi chalti hoon." Now, I assume that she wants to pee as well. But, when we get there, she just stands around and tried to initiate a conversation with me while I am inside the loo. I dont reply. When I get out, she tells me "Tu toh badi chup rehti hai." I give her a wan smile wondering why she had come along.

Next day, she comes along and says "Chalo". I ask her, "Kahaan?". "Aarey washroom yaar", pat comes the reply. "Lekin kyun?" I asked very perplexed. "Aise hi yaar, sab log ja rahe hain." she replies a little impatiently and as though I was stupid. I decline the tempting offer, very politely and she looks hurt. "Tujhe washroom kyun nahi aana hai?", she demands looking offened. "Bas, nahi aana", I stutter, unable to justify something which is so obvious but so beyond her realm of understanding! Needless to say, I was never invited again and I was also the outcast :-)

So, why would women go to washroom in groups?
a) The entire 40 second walk from the office to the washroom can get very lonely or scary or boring??!!
b) Once inside the washroom, they need moral support to see them through the Herculean task of defecating??!!??
c) They have not undergone potty training?
d) Maybe, there is something wrong with me? I dont know! Why? Why? Why?

It gets worse though. These women even drink tea and have snacks inside the bathroom. Anyone fancy bacteria and germ coated biscuits and poop flavoured tea? Also, like I said earlier, these women love to speak to each other when they are in the process of peeing. What could possibly be so important that it must absolutely be discussed right then? Basic potty training must be given to these women, beginning with rule number one, "Nothing, absolutely nothing must interfere with the sacred act of defecating!!!"

Note to self - 2

2010-05-07T11:16:00.003+05:30

Never try to explain the expression "Tere baap ka road hai kya?" to someone who does not understand Hindi. Just translating it to "Is it your father's road?", does not convey the feelings associated with the expression. The person will not understand the intended sarcasm and give you, if-you-think-thats-funny-you-are-an-idiot-look. If you try to substantiate it with examples, you will fall flatter on your face(on that very same road).

NOTE: I did not do this. I watched with great interest, while a couple of my friends tried to explain this to an American friend.

Premonition

2010-05-07T11:16:00.002+05:30

"I have seen this before"," she thought, in one of her cold detached moods. "It will take 8 months approximately and it is going to be miserable. Knowing this, I should put an end to it. But, it is so magical to see all the pieces falling together and seeing my premonitions come true. I want to watch this multidimensional jigsaw put itself together", she decided with finality.

As the pieces started coming together, her life started falling apart. It was beautiful. It was a purgatory process precisely because of the intensity of pain. The final showdown was as dramatic and as painless as she expected it to be. A sense of calm flooded her immediately. She was free of her circle, but he had just carefully constructed his. She had loved him enough to try and save him even though she knew he did not deserve it. She abandoned her ego and tried to reason with him, but his fate was sealed, vacuum tight.

She was soon immersed in her life and any feelings of compassion towards him had been replaced with indifference. She pitied him because, she knew the answers to his questions.
He was smart, but he did not understand certain equations. The variables in that equation were plenty, but she had the answers to that. They both knew that they were perfect together. She had planned to tell him all, to salvage what was left of them.

The indifference though, held her ransom and she never tried again. She watched her jigsaw puzzle nearing completion. Just as the last bit of him disintegrated, her jigsaw was complete. She should have felt bad, given how much she had loved him.Oh, what could have been...

Admits, my admits

2010-03-17T16:43:00.000+05:30

A heartfelt poem. Please feel moved and come to me soon!

A watched pot never boils
As goes the old adage
Nor will you find new emails,
When you incessantly refresh the page.

Admits, my admits
Where art thou?
I wait so impatiently
Please come to me now.

I check my email everyday,
Hoping to see you there.
I pray frevently, use lucky charms,
Even a horseshoe I wear.

Studera.nu reads "In progress"
Southampton reads "Fee check complete".
Thou art cruel to test me so,
But I do hope the reward is sweet.

A grand welcome awaits you all,
Excited phone calls to my kith and kin.
Shouts of joy and a jig all around,
I will certainly create the most mellifluous din.

Admits, my admits
Where art thou?
I wait so impatiently.
Please come to me now?

Wake up Spig...

2010-03-15T09:13:00.000+05:30

The 'skills' column in my resume has this point mentioned, "I have 10 years of experience in being a alarm clock. There is no living being that I cant wake from slumber." No, I am not overstating my skills! Lets see a few specimens that I have dealt with successfully.

1) SPIG: One of my best friends. She has very erratic sleeping habits. She sleeps in erratic positions as well. On one occassion, I wake up bleary eyed in the middle of the night. I dont have my spectacles on, and i see a blurry image of something against the wall. "Now, that cant be right", I think. There is supposed to be just the mattress with SPIG lying on it. There is no item of furniture at the other end of the room. I put on my spectacles. Voila! There is SPIG with both her legs straight up in the air, sleeping. Other normal positions include, sleeping on her stomach with legs turned up at the knees. Sleeping on her back, with one leg up. SPIG is known to have slept through raging fires, earthquakes and floods. I happen to wake her up everyday (Do I hear applause?). It is a two hour long process. First half hour involves my physical presence. I need to gently shake her. She will turn her head away. Thats a good sign. I then proceed to get ready for work. Before leaving for work, a few more rough shakes, poking with any object available( she does not know I do that). Then she stirs a bit, opens her eyes and sighs. Sometimes a game of hide and seek with her blanket follows where she will refuse to come out of it. At this point I leave. Then after half an hour, I will call her incessantly till she finally awakens. This is how it is on normal days. On the bad days, I need perform a 'wake up war dance' with elephants stomping, water jets and truck horns blaring.

2) ROON: Now, this boy might not sleep in fancy positions, but he overshadows everyone I know when it comes to deep sleep. No amount hitting, thwacking, shouting, kicking, bludgeoning wakes him up. He almost stood me up on one occassion after we had made elaborate plans to meet(in a city I do not know). I had to leave my phone on redial while I was calling him to wake him up. 2 hours and the loss of all my patience later, he finally wakes up.
Complex astorology is utilized to determine when he will wake up. The stars need to be precisely aligned before his slumber is disturbed. Science has been unable to explain his sleep. Even flies are fooled into thinking that he is a cadaver and they buzz noisily around him. Dogs come and sniff and walk away in disgust. Even such a specimen I can wake up. This is not even one of the 'bad days'. He consistently maintains this pattern of sleep. Such little mercies I should be thankful for.

With friends like me, who needs alarm clocks..

Hypnagogic Ramblings

2010-03-07T17:25:00.002+05:30

The lines really dont rhyme
Not this time
Not this time
Look yonder, what do you see?
A picture of you and me?
No, dont flee
No, dont flee
This poem has a life of its own
With structured thoughts it has grown
Can you feel whats chewing me up?
Yes, my tatoo has come alive
Deep breath and then dive
Too abstract you say
My brain on a plate, if you may
Wishes and prayers too far apart
Did you upset this apple cart?
I have done my part
I have done my part
Come! Now! Its time to run
Not the rat race, but for fun
Rewards beckon, to spur you on
Yes, I'm gone
Yes, I'm gone

Shaken, stirred and swallowed

2010-02-13T23:03:00.004+05:30

I love their honey melon juice. Shake, stir and swallow, in that order. The waiters are also very friendly. The ambience is bohemian, chilled out and relaxed. On numerous occasions, I have gone there for breakfast. I have enjoyed many a nice lazy evening there. My guy friends have ogled at all the fair skinned women. That is how it was. Now all that remains of German Bakery is shards of glass, piles of broken furniture and blood and flesh all around.

The feeling of disgust and shock that is swamping me, is difficult to control. The rage at this outrage is difficult to contain. Yet, all that I can do is sit watch in utter despair and helplessness. I know 6 people who almost went there, or just left German Bakery. The connection that most of us have with that place, is a subtle feeling of comfort and familiarity. The easiness with which you can settle down there and the array of wonderful foods has always been a draw for me.

The number of people killed and injured, might not be as many as in the Mumbai blasts, but the reaction that this has evoked in me, is much stronger. I have always considered myself a Bombayite. Everyone who has cared to listen has heard me rave about how much I love Bombay, how I cant imagine living anywhere else. But, stashed away in some corner of my head and heart were denials about my feelings for Pune. But, Pune is home. Whatever feelings I attach with German Bakery, are the same feelings but magnified several times, for Pune.

Life will go on again. People will express their views strongly, and rant and spew forth lava. Then we will forget and move on. That is what we are supposed to. Its commonplace now. But, with this event, something has changed. There are some ties with people that I cant sever, though I have tried hard. The insouciance and idyllic nature of my city is gone. Too many conflicting thoughts are arising at the same time. This too shall pass, but the change will remain.

Philosophy of Maddy ---- 1

2010-02-08T23:31:00.002+05:30

Philosophy has tinged my discussions over the last few days. Though I did not seek to answer or even think about Nirvana, happiness and general well being, that’s what I ended up doing. Credit must be given to the person who had these series of conversations with me, since that was the fillip for all this.

Nirvana I believe is a state of nothingness. I don’t think it is freedom from the circle of life and death. It is the ideal state of nothingness, where there is no question of happiness or sadness. No emotions are strong enough to rattle you, in either the good way or bad way. You will experience these emotions, undoubtedly, but they wont hold much significance. This state of Nirvana can be achieved only through a feeling of intense awareness. Awareness about what you want from life, your basic instincts and your surroundings. You need to be completely tuned to yourself. The smallest of your wishes, you must try and fulfill. It is widely believed that you would need to rid yourself of desires, before even attempting Nirvana. There might be an element of truth in this. The way to do this would be to fulfill every desire till none exists. You need to hold on to every last bit of desire that you have, and work towards satiating it.

In a way, I am also advocating selfishness. But it is quite obvious that unless you are content you cant do much for anyone else. The ‘I’ will be of utmost importance, just like in Ayn Rand’s theory. Yes, that’s the source of all these thoughts as well. Discussions on Howard Roark, led me to believe that he had indeed achieved Nirvana. He was a supremely aware being. He knew exactly what he wanted from life. He knew what he had to do. There was nothing that could rattle him enough to deviate him from his chosen path. Yes, he experienced his highs and his lows, but with his awareness came his utmost simplicity, since all his actions were directed towards fulfilling his desires. He did nothing else but fulfilling his basic desire. In the course of it, he was content. There was nothing else he desired. I think that’s what it comes down to, supreme awareness leading to fulfillment of your desires. The way to nothingness. The way to Nirvana

Of this and that and some more of this

2010-01-23T22:22:00.003+05:30

I have given up trying to explain this feeling to myself. I feel like I am in a surreal world. There have been so many coincidences, instant fulfilment of wishes, a surprising streak of luck sometimes. I can sense that something is about to happen. Its like I am sitting of a sheet of ice which is cracking, but I am anticipating my fall because I know the water below is warm. Just the right temperature for a long, comfortable soak. All this sounds vague and a bit silly to me, but I cant seem to shake that feeling off.

On the other hand, I have finally started applying for my masters course. This has also set off a series of ideas in my head about how to save, generate energy (yes, I have applied for sustainable energy technology courses). However, my so called flashes of brilliance occur a tad too late. Whatever ideas I come up with have already been implemented, save one which I shall not mention here, till I have thought it through. One idea which has been put in use, is generating energy from gyms i.e from people who are exercising. Apparently, gyms in Japan and Hong Kong already use this idea. Sheh! So much for my 'Eureka' moment!

This post, is mostly to coax myself out of writer's block.

Mixed Bag

2009-12-30T18:43:00.000+05:30

Tumultuous. The perfect word to capture my 2009. It has been a year of extremes for me. There has been a solid dose of revelry, rock bottoms, bottoms up, scandal , happy realizations!, shock and novelty. I met a lot of new people, especially in the last two months and surprisingly, I like all of them. The month that I had been fretful about (December) is almost over and it has been anything but bad.

My December turned out to be quite eventful and fun, mostly because of Varun. We have known each other for the last 9 years. Yes, a very long time! But we have probably met thrice in the nine years. We have had a funny friendship. There have been phases where we are completely in tune with each other's lives and periods where we have been ignorant of even each other's whereabouts. Most of the lack of communication could be attributed to me, but I am working on that now! Anyway, Varun and his friends(who constitute the band No Safe Word) came to Bombay in December. They were here to participate in Livewire at Mood-I.

There is a certain amount of reservation and guardedness when you meet new people. However in this case it was completely non-existent, from my side as well as their's. I got an opportunity to do what I like best, show off Bombay and it is immodest and completely true when I say that I did a fantastic job. We started off with a sumptuos breakfast at Mondy's. Then, we gallavanted around Colaba and made several unsuccesful attempts at persuading the balloon seller to sell us the gigantic balloons. The Hajj trip to dessert Mecca ,Theobroma's was also undertaken. We also indulged our childish instincts and bought random things (fake fangs, pirate patch, a hippo) at the toy store. Next, was the predictable yet mandatory trip to Marine Drive. Each one of us took a nap here for at least 20 twenty minutes admist several condescending glances from passer-bys. We all woke up in time to see the sunset and once the final speck of orange had disappeared, we proceeded to Bayview Cafe. This place is tucked away on a rooftop in the lane along the Gateway of India. It offers an incredible view of the harbour and is also very miser friendly. In the night, we can see several brightly lit (read: SPS ;-) ) ferrys, and the imposing Gateway in all its luminous splendour. Also, noteworthy of mention is that all the fellows were made to travel in the local train back and forth. There were a lot of men "Up, close and personal" with them and after the initial cries of "Molestation!", the boys managed to settle down. Now, I am certain they are equipped to deal with any mode of public transport in the world!

Thus, ended the first day of their trip. The second day was spent mostly at IIT with them performing in the late evening. It was an energetic performance apart from a few minor glitches. There were shades of Morrison in the performance which I was quite amazed by. We, then lounged about the campus, finally making our way to Fuel. We had very happy hours there and revelry was heightened indeed. The merriment continued throughout the night and was carried forward to the next day. The next day saw us at Bandra where we gave in to our gourmand instincts at Mad About Donuts and Crepe Station. After indulging every sweet tooth we finally called it a day. It was with a bit of dejection that I bid them goodbye. Having had such a rollicking time with them, the thought of having to return to work was an uninviting option indeed. But, the reasons for my apprehensions about December had faded away and it was replaced with an idiot grin in my head. This, I am very thankful for!

If this month is a presage for what is to come next year, then I am all for it. There are a lot of people apart from Varun who I would have to thank for making it such a wonderful year. Sneha for not only being a fabulous friend, but also the perfect roommate. Amooo for being a very patient listener and for being there for me during the worst two weeks of the year. Arun for having taken care of me on the numerous occassions when I was wavering;-) and for having said, "I wish I could have punched!". Rohan, for being the punching bag! Sahas, for having shown me the flamingoes and being my walking friend. Akshay, for having come back and teaching me how to be slightly cold hearted. Kapeesh for being a good long distance friend,agony uncle and SOP critic. Vipin, for once again having seen me through a bad phase in my life and offering me his nuggets of wisdom. Sajit, for becoming a friend despite the circumstances and doing everything from discussing abstract concepts to being a sounding base. Ashish for being the most straightforward, no-nonsense friend and for letting me steal his sandwiches. Finally, all the fellow bloggers who have regularly left comments. I have posted more this year than the last two years combined! I think I have most people covered now! If I have missed out out anyone, I can always edit :-)

Happy new year to all!

Genius King

2009-12-22T12:25:00.000+05:30

Eyes bright with the constancy of thoughts.
Breaks into a sudden smile.

Walking,pondering,sulking,thinking,wondering,
Absorbs the environment.
Tunes himself in and out.

Sheer genius in human form.
Certain quirks and his mind is a storm.
Radical thoughts and revolutionary ideas,
Towering presence and yet there is warmth.

Paroxysms of brilliance,
Beautiful radiance,
Paragon of excellence in his craft,
Soon history he will draft.

Wich Latte

2009-12-05T10:26:00.000+05:30

Its a tiny place tucked away in a corner on Colaba Causeway. In all likelihood you will walk past it, the first time you go looking for the place. But then, there are the desserts on display that you cannot miss, if you have an eye for such things.

Cheerful waiters and bread figurines greet you, when you walk in. The walls have been painted a plesanat orange. Frescoes reminiscent of Cafe Mondegar adorn one wall and the menu flanks the other wall. They claim their speciality is bagels and quite rightly so!
A variety of bagels with delectable cream cheese fillings are available. Their thin crust pizza has the right amount of crunch and softness. The toppings available are plenty and they have the option of whole wheat base as well( which I am particularly happy about). Their Iced tea is also something which deserves a mention. I invariably order one every time I go there. However, the piece de resistance is the blueberry cheesecake. Usually, I am partial to blueberry cheesecakes and I end up having one at every dessert place that I visit. Their blueberry cheesecake, is one of the best I have had. Even the crust of the cheesecake is wonderfully crunchy, slightly buttery and soft at the same time.

Wich Latte makes for a perfect breakfast place with the different egg preparations, sandwiches and coffees. It would also be the ideal place to grab a quick lunch during work hours or idle away slothful sunday afternons with a book. The music could do with some revamping, since they have a tendency to play teen pop songs sometimes. To sum it up, its a place which merits a visit when you are in Colaba. It may not have the grand history associated with Mondy's or Leo's, but when it comes to the food, it would be on par or maybe even one up on them. Do go there and eat, drink and lounge about.

A Rant : To all ye unfaithful..

2009-12-03T12:28:00.000+05:30

A rant. Hopefully a short one.

This rant might have never happened, had I not discovered that 3 of my very close friends have either been cheated upon or been told, " I dont like you anymore. I like someone else. I dont know why..". Yes, we as a species are certainly not virtuous, but it is unnecessary to abandon all moral codes.

When committing to a relationship, faithfulness is a prerequisite, unless otherwise specified. It is also a generally accepted belief that you should provide emotional support apart from wild monkey sex. Also, by default, you might have to work at your relationship from time to time.

All these are generally accepted norms. Yet, its amazing how they are forgotten at the slightest hint of trouble(read: pretty face or disagreements). The fact that maintaining any kind of a relationship requires effort is common knowledge(almost as common as adultery, nowadays). Even so, people choose to give in to their baser instincts without much thought. The path of least resistance and utmost selfishness is chosen. The fact that it is so commonplace does not make it any better. Yes, it happens all the time and we are inured to it. The rosy eyed concept of love is almost upon us, but that does not make it right to act in such a deplorable way.

We get attracted to many people, even when we are in a relationship, but we dont act upon every attraction. It is perfectly fine to accept that attraction is inevitable and there are going to be days that you wish you could take a break. However, the important thing is to realize that it is a phase, like everything else. It baffles me how easily people discard their partners, but when at the recieving end, they bawl about it. Empathy, more than anything else is required.

Break-ups are bound to happen, but falling for someone else and then blaming your significant other for not being good enough, is just plain wrong. Either enter a relationship when you are ready or make it amply clear what your intentions are. It may be considered as a sign of weakness when someone is vulnerable to heart breaks, but there is no denying that feeling. Heartbreaks can be excruciatingly painful, even more so when there is abuse of trust. Be human, by not succumbing to obviously wrong instincts but by excersing some restraint. Empathize and try to maintain the basic level of decency. Thats all that is required.

Farewell encomium

2009-11-19T10:44:00.001+05:30

A tribute... This simply does not do justice, but well..

Haziness, clouds his eyes
All he can hear are collective sighs.
In happiness or despair?
He cant tell, he doesn’t care

He is just like a shooting star
All gaze in wonder from afar
Star-struck he leaves everyone
Their eyes blazing like the sun

His voice invokes a strange feeling
It resonates within every being
The words tumble out with a mystic force
Love, philosophy and ancient lores

Today he is gripped with a strange mood
He drinks a bit and refuses food
The bar is an interesting mix
Musicians, playwrights and a few critics

He saunters around looking for his friends,
To get his fix, which everything mends.
Derailment and jolting of senses he seeks,
The heightened state when God speaks.

His wish is fulfilled, the fix he finds
Snorts some and to his music he grinds
Swaying gently imbibing the feeling
Colours speak to him, his mind is reeling

Answers he seeks are very close
In the form of images, notes and prose
To understand them, solitude he needs
He looks for silence and finally succeeds

On the bathroom floor he stretches out
Feels like he is gushing out of a whale’s spout
He pushes the limit further still
Takes some more, goes for the kill

The feeling is sinking in very deep
A frenzy of emotions make him weep
The circles now, spin and dance
He tries to taste them at every chance

Soon his mouth is a foaming mess
He tries to wipe it off, with no success
Sitting up, with his back propped on the walls
His head, between his knees falls

A ghost-like apparition of himself he sees
Unlocking The Doors with the keys
Riders on the storm, are waiting at the bend
Yes, he knows, this is The End…

Holy Matrimony

2009-11-10T20:28:00.004+05:30

Its that annoying age when everyone around you is getting married, or at least getting engaged. I know three people in my social circle, who are engaged and two who are married. Everyone I know, knows at least 3 people who are either engaged or married. Even without doing the math on this, I am irritated. (No, my parents are not pestering me to do the same and they are not going to do that for a very long time.) Obviously, this trend has not gone unnoticed by most of my friends and this becomes a point of discussion. Yesterday's discussion takes the cake though..

S: I don't get it! Why do we have to get married? I mean, I am a one woman man, but why must it be certified with marriage?
Me: Well, I don't know either. I guess its just a way of showing your commitment. Not that, if you get married you are bound to stay committed for the rest of your life.

S: Exactly! You might not stay married to that person for ever if you don't like them.
Its just something invented by society to force faithfulness.
Me: Yes, and faithfulness or sincerity in a relationship cannot be forced. If it comes naturally , it does. A marriage is a relationship. If you choose to end it, you get a divorce. A fancier break-up, if you may.

S: See, thats what I am talking about! A marriage is not going to change your relationship with that person. You will end up doing the same things. Whats the point?
Me: Yupp! Its a bit beyond my understanding, but thats how the world is. I am not averse to it, but I don't think it is necessary.

S: Yeah, and all that tremendous waste of money. It really gets under my skin. I really don't want to marry my girlfriend. I think its perfectly fine, if she just moves in with me and we go about everything the usual way. But, she gets so excited by the "big weddings". I am probably going to marry her twice. Once, the Hindu way and then in a church. She wants both
Me: I can see how elated you are. Marriages are a pretty stupid and easy way to lose money. Heck, I would rather use that entirely on a honeymoon, without a marriage

S: See, now we are talking! Thats what I am saying! You know what?
Me: What?

S: I think I am going to get marry you.
Me: !!!!!!!

The young ones have all the fun

2009-10-31T09:29:00.005+05:30

To all those of you who have a younger sibling, life is unfair right? You give in to all their demands, eventually, however ridiculous. You are often the shield and the punching bag at the same time. Yes, the younger ones revel in all this. I can often spot a hint of evil in my sister's eyes when she watches me squirm! A snapshot of "hint of evil" provoking incident.

Scene: I have come back home, after a bad day at work. I am snugly curled up in my bed, about to fall asleep.

S: Madhu, I want to go to the bathroom.
Me: So, go na..

S: I am scared of the lizard on the wall outside our door. Go see if its there na, please..
Me: Aarey yaar! Its a lizard on the wall! Its not anywhere near you!

S:Please go see no..please
Me: *groans* fine, fine, wait..

Me: No, there is nothing here
S: Check properly, i am sure you are not looking!
Me: WTF!! (in my head) I did, ok. Now you can go.

(I drop into my bed. I am just hitting the ideal drowsiness state.)

S: Madhu..check in the bathroom also na.
Me: WHAT? You said it was outside the room.
S: But it could have crawled inside, no?
Me: *murderous look in eyes* fine! I will check.

ME: NO, its not there. Now, will you go?
S: Ok, but now i dont feel like it...

Me:!@#@$#$#@#%%

The end..Jim Morrison

2009-10-27T20:21:00.002+05:30

"This is the end, beautiful friend.
It hurts to set you free,
But you'll never follow me.
The end of laughter and soft lies.
The end of nights we tried to die.
This is the... end."

-Jim Morrison

Simple words and very apt that I found it today.
Hail Morrison.

Bombay

2009-10-16T00:24:00.000+05:30

This post has been long overdue. Everyone who lives here and loves this place finally succumbs to the urge of expressing their feelings about Bombay. How perfect it is with all its imperfections. How crowded the locals are. How its bursting at its seams with the millions that throng the city. How you experience contradictory emotions each time you try to describe what Bombay means to you. How you yearn for the city when you are away.. The list is endless.

I have not lived in Bombay for all my life. I even hated Bombay when I first shifted. But that was more due to leaving my friends behind, than anything else. Grudgingly, I gave the city a chance and slowly everything fell into place. I started enjoying my new school and my new house. I made plenty of friends and was soon ensconced in the niche that I had carved out. There were also trips to Churchgate to look forward to. The footpath bookshops were undisputedly my favourites. I still have my prize catch, the 5 in 1 Asterix that I bought here.

Life went by at the pace of a fast train and before I knew it my HSC board exams were also done. It was around this time that I celebrated love and loss at the same time. Three months after having decided that I had a massive crush on someone, I had to leave the city, to shift to Pune. Long distance relationships are difficult. It was very painful at first and I was in depression for almost 3 months. However a few trips to Bombay in that period, cleared my apprehensions. I fell in love all over again when I read Shantaram. It laid the basis for the new realtionship and heartbreak. Despite faltering so much, we reamined together. I am happy to say that, Bombay and I were united again on 16 July 2008. There has been no looking back.

What I love most about Bombay is that both vice and virtue are celebrated here. People dont shy away from vices. There is no shame in it because every human is capable of the same lows and the same highs. Bombay helps to destroy the carefully crafted illusions of utopia and makes you face reality. You are forced to deal with your hypocrisy at some point or the other. This is what I am most thankful for. That and fresh starts.

I have always managed to start afresh here. Whether it is my prejudice or actual good fortune, I cannot say. Inspiration can be found at every corner. Whether it is in the form of my friends or trips to the seaface, its all here. Staring at the sea, sitting on Marine Drive is almost a holy experience.The range of emotions that one experiences when sitting there are baffling. People go there to find solace, inspiration, love, melancholy and peace. Everyone finds exactly what they are looking for. Looking at the sun set, walking the entire strecth from Nariman Point to Chowpatty are undisputed ways to win someone over. I am happy to have been part of that process as well. However, the true beauty of the sea comes out when it is raining. The ferocity of the waves and the threat it poses is mesmerizing. In such weather, I hope to be able to sit and watch a drunk someone writing poetry, while looking at the sea.

Musings on Bombay will always remain incomplete. There is much to capture about this place. Chilling out at Leopold's with beers followed by bhurji pav since all the money was spent on the drinks. Walking to Siddhivinayak to appease the Lord followed by seeking blessings at Haji Ali. Cruising around in South Bombay in a car followed by catching the last local back home. There is place for everything here and everything is possible here. I love Bombay with all its contradictions. It feels human and I love it.

Something happened...

2009-10-15T09:51:00.000+05:30

Current affairs. These are the current state of affairs. In whose life? Inspired by whom? Two people I know. I am going to watch it unravel.

One instant and everything changed. Freefalling, without any thoughts. Going with flow, being swept off. Swept off with the current and in the process of getting swept off his feet? How much do they talk? Prerequistes are meeting, observing and proximity. Yet, without any of these..How? Feasibility analysis has not been conducted yet. Take it slow or retain the pace. Neither, just take it easy.

Inspired by destiny

2009-10-08T19:18:00.002+05:30

It was meant to be. Did I see it coming? Probably, a part of me was strongly wishing for it to happen. It was my last resort to find some sanity in all the chaos that raged around me. Everything just fell into place. I was on facebook, distracting myself from the mess that I had created. Along came D.

It was a very casual chat session. Diet plans, TT, Football and the likes. Just then, I remember a casual remark made by a dear friend of mine about D. I asked him about destiny. Did he believe in it? Yes, he did. Do I believe in it? Yes, I do as well. I believe that destiny is a huge expanse of space with a boundary. You cant go beyond the boundary limit. You can very well run around and explore the entire space. Here is where your free will comes into play. So, my belief involves an intertwining of both destiny and free will.

He believed that everything happened for a particular reason and that no event was out of place. However, he tries to fight destiny. He tries to play around with it. His methods of doing that are sometimes extreme and punishing. But he does that anyway. I suggested though, that it all comes down to a confusing mess of,"it is destiny that you are trying to fight destiny". The vicious circle can just continue forever. But, that apart, his entire outlook towards life surprised me. How he found happiness in sorrow.He believes that sorrow is a celebration of life, so he chooses to create it when he wants to celebrate life. His outlook baffled me. I was high on the conversation. I tried to understand the multitude of thoughts pouring forth.We talked about almost every aspect of life, passions running high.

The conversation reached a very emotional crescendo and I before I knew it, I was pouring out my heart to him. I was not looking to do that, but something snapped in my head and I blurted everything out. His reaction took me by surprise. He offered his help immediately. His help would have put him in a sticky position, but he did it anyway. At that moment I knew, I had made a friend for life. Everything changed in that instant. Everything that was bogging me down, felt a bit lighter, though no solutions had been found(it was found later that day). He came along and pushed me out of the trough. I had been waiting for that to happen, though I did not know it till it did. I am very grateful to D. I will be for a very long time. You are a wonderful addition to my life and your sudden appearance in my life will be forever cherished.Thank you D.

Good luck time

2009-10-07T15:56:00.000+05:30

"There is a tide in the affairs of men
Which taken at the flood, leads on to fortune;
Omitted, all the voyage of their life
Is bound in shallows and in miseries."

-Julius Caesar

The tide has come. It is now. After a harrowing two months, I can finally breathe easy. Solutions may not have been found to all the problems, but there is hope still. The fact that hope exists, itself is very significant. The last two weeks in particular were the worst I have seen in a very long time. I am chipping away at the shackles, and they are breaking bit by bit. The paranoia, fear, uncertainity and guilt will also disappear. Yes, also noteworthy is that the sun is back, after two weeks. For now, that will be the good omen.

Non Veg = Suicide Part 2

2009-10-05T15:58:00.000+05:30

In one of my earlier posts, I had written about the flawless power of logic and deduction that some of my college hostel authorities possess. Over the weekend, I heard that they have been at it again. Yes, much to everyone's chagrin they have indeed put it to use.

A mattress had been left lying on the terrace of the boy's hostel. For reasons unknown, it caught fire. Following Murphy's law, the fire was not discovered until it threatened to engulf the building( just a bit of exaggeration). The fire engine came, people gawked and general chaos ensued. The fire was put out and things went back to normal..or so the residents of the hostel believed.

An investigation to determine the cause of the fire began. The most obvious reason that they could think of was that, the boys must have been smoking on the terrace and may have accidentally set fire to the mattress. Fine, that makes sense. What followed was a painstaking search of every room to smoke out the smokers(forgive the pun). Cigarette butts were found in a room. All the residents of that room were immediately suspended. The logic being, birds of a feather flock together. Ergo, all in that room must be smoking. However, a few rooms in the hostel were found locked since the residents had gone home for the weekend.

The second round of investigations began on the Monday following the weekend. The residents of the locked rooms were back and their rooms were now inspected. Cigarette butts were found in one of the rooms. These fellow too were immediately suspended. Yes, there is a distinct possibility that they dreamt about smoking on the terrace, when they were away and in that dream sequence, accidentally set the mattress on fire.

What followed was an ultimatum, that the so called culprits pay a fine or leave the hostel. Letters were sent to every boy's house regarding the events. The letters went on to state that the boys were caught smoking and drinking in the hostel premises etc etc.. Nothing surprising there, since people who smoke always drink. Obvious na? Buddhu.. Simple, straightforward logic. Very very elementary, my dear Watson!

Sleep...

2009-09-28T12:10:00.004+05:30

Finally sleep came. After a great tussle with sheep, goats and the entire animal kingdom. For some reason the mind was fixated upon the goat. How he said he would not eat goats. Its funny how the mind is able to pick the most inopportune moments to remember certain details. Comments made in passing, which you never knew were stuck in your head, show up.
Sleep though, had ulterior motives. Even it had come to mock, and poke its fun. Yes, within an hour of falling asleep, it transformed into sleep paralysis. Unable to wake up from a dream, though you know you are dreaming. A feeling as though a tremendous weight has pressed you down. Blackness, to be specific is pressing you down. Then it gives way to static, the kind you observe on TV's when they are not tuned. You cant scream, though you are trying to. Then suddenly, the paralysis is over. You sit up with a jolt on your bed. Sweating, horrified, unable to comprehend the event.
Even sleep was a let down.. No comfort in the night, tremendous discomfort in the morning. Such is life. The world is but a stage, where every man must play a part..and I am the insomniac.

The shooting star

2009-08-15T14:57:00.002+05:30

She stood still staring intently,
Her face covered in anxiety.
She was trying to spot the shooting star,
To get her dad back from the war

Not long ago, she had held his hand,
Their legs settled in the warm sand.
They counted the stars in the sky,
Wishing on shooting stars they did try.

She had wished for a teddy bear,
And when she awoke it was there.
The shooting star, she thought was God's way
To fulfill her wishes when her dad was away

Today she stood wishing with all her might,
To bring him back before the morning light
Then she saw the blaze in the sky,
Her heart almost skipped a beat in joy

Little did she know, he was on his way,
God had probably heard her pray.
The blaze had grown much more in size,
When she had wished and opened her eyes

She then skipped away rather joyfully,
To go and play with her teddy.
She told her mother about her wish
As she licked clean the baking dish.

Just then there was a distant noise,
They could hear their neighbour's excited voice.
Her mother peeked out to see what it was,
There seemed to be a fire raging from some blast.

The neighbour barged in, in a flurry,
Rattling off the events in a hurry.
The plane from Iraq had been flying in,
When it had caught fire on its wing.

"It is very sad you see", she said.
For everyone on that plane is now dead.
The little girl's mother let out a scream,
Then tears started flowing in a steady stream.

The shooting star that you saw my dear
Was your father's coffin I fear..

And it was love..

2009-07-30T18:38:00.004+05:30

" Are you sure you want to do this?", he asked with a hint of a smile. "Well, I dont know. It is a bit weird, but I have never done this before and I have always wanted to..", she trailed off looking at the horse. The signal was turning green. "Lets go", she said breaking into a run. Together they yelled, "Bhaiyya ruko!!". The horse carriage stopped. They both got in. Her face was flushed with excitement. Yes, that was the moment she knew.

"Here, I got this for you", he said taking out the sweater from his bag. "You remembered!", she exclaimed. "Well its not that I dont like to keep you warm myself", he said with an impish grin. "Idiot", she said, as he took her hand and led her inside the cinema hall. Yes, that was the moment she knew.

She was being unreasonable, she knew."I dont like you. Not even in the least bit. It is because of you that they lost. It's all your fault. I dont like you at all. Go away.", she fumed. Tears of rage were threatening to spill. "Aarey baba, be reasonable na.. I am not going away. Dont be such a drama queen", he said trying to placate her. "Nahi..naahhhhi. Nahi chahiye. Chale jaao.", she pouted. "Ok..ok. Come on now. I am sorry", he said. This line of conversation continued. He never lost his patience. Yes, that was the moment she knew.

"Come back soon", she said. "But, I thought we already discussed this. I am not going at all", he said with a smile. "Come on now, be serious. I mean it. Please come back soon.", she said with a downcast expression. The tears that she willed back, now slowly trickled down her cheek. She tried desperately to hide her face. Not again. He saw the tears and pulled her close. She buried her face and wept. "Dont cry. Please dont cry", he said wiping away the tears. "Nothing will change, I promise", he said.
He held her all the while. In those moments she knew.

Aawaaz kaunachya?

2009-07-21T20:06:00.001+05:30

That one question will differentiate the COEPians from the rest(Well at least most of the COEP hostel crowd!). All you have to do is stand somewhere and yell that. If someone yells back, "COEPchya", there you have a true blue COEPian. Its a very effective test.

This post is a trip down the BC lane, a climb up the chimney and so on. BC or boat club, is where we all spent our free time, which we had quite a bit of! It is on the banks of the river and I cant think of a better location to chill at. There wont be any comments on the food. Ob hai! (A quintessential COEPian term meaning obvious hai, which also has a sequel called Bob hai..that being, but obvious hai). My first year was divided almost equally between playing TT and Badminton, with a bit of cursing Thevenin and Norton theorems thrown in. I could beat everyone at TT, but by the end of my second year they played so well that I stuck to Badminton.

Second year at COEP, was remarkable in many ways. It was the first time we watched the rains in all its glory. Sitting down with a steaming cup of tea and a hot oily vada-pav was the norm in this weather. You could see the occassional buffalo or cow being washed away by the river currents. The rains also provided the convenient excuse of submissions getting wet, as we soon discovered.

Summer though not very useful in terms of submission, had its own charm. It ice lolly time at BC. Tounges were coloured in all possible shades of red, orange and yellow. It was also Regatta and Zest time. COEP, is where I discovered football and I will be eternally grateful. I have never had so much fun in my life playing any sport. Zest, is where the "Awaaz Kaunachya" is chanted with feverish intensity. Of course there is a break in this chant whenever a girl walks across the court. Then there are random screeches of "Aey, 7/10..Bipassssa..dekh meri taraf bipaaassssaaaa".

Summer is also marked by numerous trips to Iceberg, our cold coffee place. Both cold coffee and chaat were consumed with great devotion, even more so after a hectic day of submission. Yes, the gruelling submission week, when time stands still and only you and your sheets exist. GT in the night (I have been too sceptical to ever try it), correcting the GT in the morning..and the karmic cycle of the sheets continue till they are finally bound and stamped. To impede your progress with the sheets, there were professors, Mtech good for nothings and pigeons. Pigeons have been the bane of our existence. They seemed to have an unmatched skill in timing and aiming their droppings. "Plop", right in the center of your sheeet when you are almost done with it. Then there were dogs, cats, goats...yes it was almost a farm out there!

COEP was also where I fell in and out love, made grand "orange" wedding plans with my best friend and became an accomplished "how to win your girl over" service provider. I also became Rossi for my Nova riding skills and Football ki nanhi jaan. I also found some of best friends there. I might not have performed brilliantly in my academics, but I learnt a lot life's lessons there. The four years were a tumultuous journey. It set the dice rolling, and I am yet to see which numbers pop up.

The war....on our tastebuds

2009-07-17T13:40:00.000+05:30

Many a great wars have been waged
Men have died, cities ravaged
The greatest battle of all time though
Is being fought and contniues to grow

A thousand soldiers everyday
Are sacrificed in the most gruesome way
Imagine if you will, the most cruel device
Repeatedly used, till the man finally dies

Sadistic pleasure is what fuels this fight
Each little moresel weakens the man's might
The chappatis are the best grade of clay
Okra is pebbles and fresh pus, if you may

Venom is not an adequate word
To describe what coconut does to all the turd
It's omnipresence does suggest
That as a weapon it is the best

Mixed vegetable is this ghastly mess
What it contains is anyone's guess
The first thing to do is to poke it around
To see if it moves or makes any sound

Plenty have died and many more will go
Even Darfur pales in its shadow
With just one look at our meals
Even the Devil has taken to his heels

Note to self..

2009-07-11T12:51:00.000+05:30

"When you are upto your neck in hot water, think of the kettle and sing"

Quarter Life Crisis :-)

2009-07-07T08:36:00.000+05:30

Quarter Life Crisis seems to be the new epidemic. Most people I know are suffering from it.
Everyone is fighting it, but the battle leaves permanent scars. That is what change is all about.
Every decision you take now, with regards to your work, education and relationships is going to set
the pattern for the future.
Watching it all unfold, with me being a part of it is a bit overwhelming. Aspects of yourself, which
you were unaware of come to the fore. Traits you surely detest and were certain that you did not possess,
materialize miraculously. Everything is going in circles. Solitude is what you seek in people's company.
Everything is a paradox.
It is an everyday struggle to find some sanity and surety that you are on the right path. But, what is the
right path anyway? People you know well, suddenly seem distant and strange. It is impossible to communicate
your thoughts, because it comes out all wrong. You cannot evaluate rights and wrongs effectively because your
parameters of judging them have become flexible as well as situation and people specific. There are a few
things amiss in your life, but you just cant identify what. At, the end of the day, you feel like a complete
idiot because you have everything that should make you happy, but it does not.
You are expected not to cry and whinge about what a truly horrible time you are going through. There are
much bigger problems in the world is what you are told, and you know its true. Logic and pragmatism have
taken a hit. The ones you expect
will understand,dole out advice which you cant use. It just tells you that they dont understand, and their
irritation with you makes you wary of saying anything else. You want to give it time, but with every second
things seem to worsen. "I don't know", is the standard answer for most questions. You are supposed to be an adult,
but you know there is a lot of growing up to do.
In the end, you do emerge a new person. Hopefully, a much wiser, peaceful and happy person. Fingers crossed.

First Impressions

2009-02-22T15:37:00.000+05:30

"I got brownies. So guess what I am trying to do?", she breathlessly asked. "I dont know, tell me." "I am trying to score brownie points!!!", came her excited reply. It was a pun intended in the physical form. It had just dawned on her and she was exuberant. "Oh it is. Damn! No wonder you are happy. Anyway, I am a bit busy now. Tell me how it goes" ."Yes I will", she said and hung up.
It had been a very long time and she had just broken free from the shackles. But it could not be denied that she was quite pleased about the meeting. No, she did not want to call it a date. It was not.
She was at Pop Tate's on time. He was going to be late. Yes, she had been forewarned about his amazing ability to be on time. He never managed to reach any place less than three hours late. Fortunately he was going to be just 20 mins late. She tried to figure out whether that was a sign. "20 mins against 3 hours..maybe he does like me a bit"
Well, she had to get ready. He could not see her like this. The final touch was missing. She was a bit self concious. After making sure no one was looking she put it on. Twenty minutes almost up, there was still no sign of him. The waiters were hovering around impatiently. She was hoping they would not ask her to place an order. To her dismay, she saw one of them approaching her table.
"M'am would you like something?", he asked with a big smile. She was now at a loss. After a very long span of thirty seconds, she mumbled something. "Excuse me m'am could you please repeat that?", he said. She could not avoid it anymore. She looked up at him, and said, "No, I am waiting for someone."
The waiter recoiled in slight horror. She watched him walk away. Very soon, just as she had expected, there was a lot staring and whispering. "Why, why could he not have come on time!!? I am such an idiot, I should not have put it on!", she thought.
Well it was too late. The waiter had seen her fake fangs with blood.
Another waiter walked up to her, to ascertain whether his colleague was right. By this time she had taken off her fangs. The waiter went back disappointed and reported the proceedings to his friends. There was some pointing and laughing again.
"Well so much for first impressions", she thought and ordered a LIIT. She sat back, amused by the situation, and started thinking about how best to make it sound funny when he came. Yes she did like him, quite a bit. After all, she had been thoughtful enough to dress up for him!

Rhyme

2008-11-15T10:25:00.000+05:30

Coquettish glance
Can you read my stance?
Arms open
Has the moment been stolen?
Turmoiled face
Why do you shift your gaze?
Tears flow
Why does the face still glow?
Fresh beginning
Does the past still sting?
Denial outright
Can we give up without a fight?
True lies
Is this my greatest vice?
Quiet defeat
The rhyme is broken

Beer SOP

2008-09-19T13:04:00.000+05:30

This was written, at a moment's notice(ten minutes), for a friend so as to give him temporary relief from his SOPs which were, as he put it.. "screwing his brains!"

It began when I was seventeen and continues till date. (This definitely exhibits my commitment and loyalty.) I am referring to my affair with beer. Affair would be too crude, since we are soul-mates. Yes, I do believe in love. It is the message I preach most often at sermons, being a part-time priest. I promote peace and tolerance and encourage the diversity of human beings, just like your great institution. Before you make a snap judgement about me, please do read on.

Beer has been my all consuming passion. It has provided me unbridled joy, solace, companionship and inspiration on many occasions. It has shaped my very being and still plays an active role in doing so. There is no one else, who can drink as much as me, and I assure you that it took single minded determination for me to get there. Some thousand odd drinking sessions later, I can now proudly claim my place. This goes to show my doggedness and can-be-done attitude.

The better part of my leadership abilities and crisis management qualities can also be attributed to beer. My continuous quest for improvement is also fuelled by it, which I will elucidate with a short snippet. In the inebriated state, it is generally not advisable to drive. However, I decided to take up the challenge. The first time, I killed three people and critically wounded five others. But, this did not deter me. With unshakeable belief in myself, I strove harder for success. I eventually succeeded. Today, I can proudly claim to be accident free while driving. This also shows how goal driven I am.

During this eventful journey(pun intended), I also learnt various crisis management techniques. For instance, after having hit someone, I did not panic. I showed great courage and thoughtfulness and called an ambulance. I used to even wait for them to breathe their last, in case of a fatal injury. Getting off the sticky wicket with the police was no easy task, but with patience I have perfected that too.

"With great power comes great responsibility"- Spiderman. The torch of knowledge needs to be handed down. Being a visionary, I see myself imparting the lessons I have learnt to the others. I intend to open a drunk driving school in the near future. Since it will be the first of it's kind, there will be many obstacles in the due course. But with theMBA degree from your renowned institution, I hope to equip myself to deal with all such difficulties. As is quite visible, I believe in commitment, hard work and learning, qualities which will surely hold me in good stead in your prestigious institution. With a MBA degree from your institution I will certainly be ready to take on the World and pursue my dreams.

The memory remains...

2008-04-15T08:28:00.000+05:30

It takes very little to bring memories gushing back. A song, a whiff of something familiar, a place or even a single word is all it takes. It sends you spiralling back into time and you sometimes discover nuggets of experiences which you never knew existed. Some get so deeply embedded that it takes a slight fillip to bring them to the surface. Over the course of the last month, this has been happening to me(probably because i am on the brink of stepping into the big bad world!).

The trigger was ice-cream. My friend remarked about how I ate it in a childlike fashion. This sent my mind racing through the memory lane, till it finally hit jackpot. It is one of my most cherished moments(as I realized when i relived it). Here it goes.....

I had just finished mt TOM viva, where every intricacy of gear interference was explored in great detail. Needless to say, it was not very successful. Since the signal strength in the inner drawing hall was weak, i impatiently rushed out to make the call. What had started off as casual badinage, was an actual challenge now. Or, more like a stupid, fun thing to do. It required a bit of cajoling on my part, since the appetite of the person in concern was the size of a pea, but it worked out well.

My fellow conspirator was ready. We had chosen our spot carefully. The only criteria for selection of the spot was to avoid people we knew. We did not intend to do anything which was the least bit scandalous. But, given the Chinese Whisper syndrome people suffer from, even the most innocent act would be made out to be a blasphemous episode.

Anyway, we reached the place and bought it. The Amul double sundae pack it was. We sat ourselves down on the pavement and began to dig in, amidst curious and baffled looks of passers-by. For me, ice cream has always carried a very insouciant happiness with it. Just sitting there on the pavement, with the big double sundae, without too many cares in the world brought me unbridled joy. And that's when the remark came, "You eat ice cream like a child!". Taking that as a taunt I gave a defiant I-don't-care stare. "No, i meant it in a good way", came the reassurance with a hint of a smile and twinkling eyes. Having seen that expression before, i believed it and smiled back. It was a compliment. We continued eating.

As luck would have it, just when i had scraped out the last scintilla of ice cream with great satisfaction, a couple of unwanted familiar faces turned up. We managed very bleak smiles, which was met with supercilious and smug glances. But then, i could not care less. It was probably the ice cream or the last half hour of gay abandon. It felt just right. We watched them walk away. There were of course periodical glances from them. But, what the heck!

This was not a wild, crazy experience. You could even classify it as vanilla(pun intended). But, it was one of those moments of sublime happiness. Absolute bliss. Everything was just perfect and harmonious. Most people would have probably experienced this by now, so hopefully all this wont sound ridiculous! Yes, it was an ice cream after all, but the joy it brought was unparalleled.

SIMC- Frustration,frolic and more

2008-01-29T13:51:00.000+05:30

Kulfi was not the only reason why I enjoyed my brief visits to SIMC, over the past three days. The primary reason was that my dear buddy Sneha had her GD/PI sessions scheduled on those days. SIMC had very smartly clubbed the GD/PI with their annual fest, Festocom. If not anything else, they made huge profits from people like me devouring the Kulfi. They also managed to ensure that they had quite a big crowd during their festival. But that's where it ends.

The schedule for one portion of the interviews was disrupted due to the festival. Candidates had been given time slots as precise as 17:27, but they suffered a rude shock. Spaceley (thank you Dominic and Reese:-)) and a few others insisted upon interviewing each person individually, but did not manage to stick to the schedule. So, it resulted in a huge backlog. Frustration had accrued and a certain section of candidates thought it would be efficacious to yell " Symbiosis HAI HAI!". I must say that was a very mature reaction on their part!

The result was that Spaceley hurled a few invectives at us (Yes, me too!) and there was temporary relief from echoes of "Symbiosis SUCKS!". In the meanwhile good Samaritans like me, were helping the candidates retain their sanity. I donned the cap of delivery boy, lexicon of invectives,eavesdropper etc.. all in the same night. It paid off really well though. In the process, i met a set of very diverse and interesting people. I also made some startling and not so startling discoveries. Some of them could even be labelled life altering! These i will enumerate below.

1) Sneha's hair is very very very................. long. One could start a series of jokes on the lines of Yo-Mamma jokes, about her hair. While we were ensconced in our niche on the floor, someone tapped her shoulder and said, " Excuse me, the people moving around are stamping your hair!"

2) Contrary to my opinion, all guys from Delhi are not MCPs. 99.9999% are MCPs but i did meet the remaining 0.0001% at SIMC

3) Time management need not necessarily be the forte of management schools.

4) Guys from St. Vincents can be both nice and witty. One can have a really pleasant conversation with them, but they will try and coax you to poison people that they don't like.

5) The name COEP has a startling effect on people! I did know this, but the true power that comes with the name hit me at SIMC

6) Eating dinner, while waiting in a line outside the director's cabin is fun. The ravenous candidates eyeing you greedily is not

7) Even the Devil would have been put to shame by the schemes that were being hatched by the candidates. Parents were openly trying to bribe the clerks managing the queues. Surprisingly( and unfortunately for the parents), the clerks were not venal!

Non veg = suicide

2008-01-20T19:06:00.000+05:30

Life in a hostel, especially in my college's hostel is not what one would describe as fun. Moreover in the boys hostel. Seven guys living in a room of 3. As for the food, it would be a wonder if it were edible. As my friends claim bhindi, aloo, lauki, karela miraculously taste the same. One can gauge how popular the hostel is with everyone. To make matters worse, a very unfortunate event resulted in one of the boys plummeting to his death, from the terrace.

The exact course of events is quite ambiguous. Everyone's version is also equivocal. What is known for certain is that there were two drunk guys on the terrace. As expected, very stringent rules and regulations were put into force following the event. However, there was another very unexpected outcome(but considering the commendable reasoning abilities and IQ levels of the people involved, i am not surprised).

A couple of weeks after the event when everything was normal, the guys began to notice that non veg was no longer on the menu. This was one of the few food items that was almost always edible, so it was quite obvious that they began to miss it. On enquiring they were met with, "kal milega". The "kal" went on to become a week and the guys could not tolerate it any longer. So they went to a higher authority. Much to their horror, they were told that non veg would henceforth never be served. Indignantly they demanded a reason. The higher authority, by now quite irked, asked them, "yaad nahi hai kya ki teen hafte pehle kya hua?"

The guys nodded, "haan, toh kya? Uska kya lena dena?". The higher authority now in a you-are-such-dimwits tone said, "Us din, us ladke ne mutton khaya tha. Uski wajah se use peene ka man hua. Peene ke baad to log terrace jaate hain aur suicide karte hain. Ab is liye hum non veg nahi de sakte. Tum saare log peene lagoge, aur phir tumhe malum hai kya hoga!". To sum it up, non-veg leads to drinking which makes you go to the terrace and the eldritch atmosphere up there forces you to jump off the terrace. Elementary, my dear Watson!

After this reply, since it became quite apparent what they were dealing with, the guys completely in despair just left without a reply. Undoubtedly, this became one of the most popular anecdotes in our college and to everyone's relief they are serving non veg again. And, no there have been no non-veg related deaths!

Hospital Tales

2007-12-07T14:52:00.000+05:30

I think it was watching Saawariya that set it off(or was it OSO). I am not entirely sure. Anyway, a couple of weeks back, just after having watched Saawariya I developed a really high fever. Dismissing it as a one off thing, I took a Crocin and went to sleep. The fever subsided, but was back again next evening. Obviously a visit to the doctor was due. I really dread those visits, not because of injections, but the incessant waiting. It is comparable to the waiting in queues for admissions in college.
Anyway, i did visit him and he prescribed the usual medicines. But the fever was surprisingly resilient since the medicines had no effect on it. To make matters worse I started developing some weird pox(which made their way even into my throat!) By the fourth day, i started seeing stars and probably even Tweety, so the doc decided to ship me off to the hospital. Before I forget, I had already taken three blood tests to rule out malaria, typhoid etc. They were all negative.
I was listed as an emergency case and made to lie on the stretcher in the waiting room. Again, they took blood for tests. The nurse made me ball my hand into a fist and tried to extract blood from it, but gave up saying,"yahaan se toh khoon hi nahi nikalta." What did she expect?! After having given away litres for tests, its a wonder i had enough blood to keep me alive!
I was then wheeled off to my room. We were told that the doctor was busy with OPD, so he would examine me later. In the meanwhile, 3 junior doctors came and had a look at me. Each one followed the same pattern. They would first ask the few basic questions, which would be followed by staring at me with a bewildered expression. Finally, a very contemplative hmmmmm.. would be uttered and they would leave.
The main doctor finally came in the evening. He was accompanied by the other 3 as well. If i did not feel like a biology specimen earlier, i certainly did now! As i answered his questions, the other 3 furiously made notes. He then shone the torch down my throat to look at the pox. At this point, the other 3 who were also hell bent on getting a better look stood on their tiptoes, straining their necks to get a better look. This sight may appear vaguely familiar to you. The starstruck way in which people respond to superstars in a locality by standing on top of each other to get a better look. Well that's what it looked like to me, only i was a very ugly specimen.
The fever was within control the next day and i was allowed visitors. A couple of my friends came to see me after the CAT. I had conveniently forgotten to tell them that my face had swollen to thrice its size and I was covered in pox all over, or to cut it short, I was looking like Frankenstein(maybe more grotesque). When they did see me, the shock was apparent on their faces but they were gracious enough not to say anything.
The rest of my 4 days passed quite uneventfully. Of course, the doctors could not gauge what was wrong with me so they gave me treatment for viral infection, Roubella fever and drug allergy! Even the skin specialist came and Hmmmed at me, but was unable to throw any light on my disease. But, to their credit, they did rule out drug allergy in the end. To top it all off, the nurse laughed at me and said, "Aapko yahaan case study ban jaana chahiye". In response i managed a feeble smile.
This hospital stay cost me CAT and one of my end semester exams. But all was not in vain, for i discovered something of great importance, the epitome of torture. Yes, indeed it is the most effective means of torture, the Intra Venous antibiotic injection. The pain is comparable to none other in the world. Its a searing pain that starts from the point of application(usually hand) and shoots right up the arm. It feels like a scorching fire has been lit inside your veins. So as you can see all was not in vein:) But, alls well that ends well. I am in good health now, looking forward to a short albeit nice, lazy vacation.

Second chances and superstitions

2007-09-27T22:46:00.000+05:30

As much as i would love to rave about India winning the T20, i do not think that words will suffice to capture the exact feeling. Aweinspiring, elation, gut wrenching could be a few words which can be used. By the sights and sounds of our country celebrating, we would definitely qualify as maniacs. Passions run really high and at either extreme. One would expect that since, India is a country where the heart is king( Borrowing Shantaram's line), and i would not have it any other way!
We made an embarrassingly early exit from the World Cup. Our players were pilloried( to say the least), a few odd houses burnt down, effigies burnt. The adage ,"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned", could have been replaced by "Hell hath no fury like the Indian cricket fans disappointed". This fall probably did them good. What came out of it was a new team with a few old faces. It did a world of good. I am no expert on cricket, but i guess the facts speak for themselves. They played well against England. The senior players then went off, giving the young blood a chance in the T20. Here is where opportunity came knocking a second time to help redeem themselves. The team did exactly that. It goes to show what a second chance can often do for you. Most of us blow up the first one. We are human after all. We make ghastly mistakes. But then, we go back learn our lessons and grab the second chance when it comes along. First impressions should not always be the last impressions. We all require the second chances to prove our worth.
As for superstitions, i would like to believe that i made a very noteworthy contribution to our victory in the T20. Calling up, two of my friends before every match( starting from Ind-Eng match onwards:)) happens to be the secret to their victory. Add to that, the millions of other superstitions that the entire country must have followed and you have the 1% luck in the formula, success = 99%perspiration + 1%luck. We can be wonderfully pragmatic and discard superstitions with contempt, but when the stakes are high, we need a little more than facts and figures to keep hope alive. Ridiculous, i guess but true. So well, here's to second chances and the likes of black cats crossing our paths.

2007-08-21T10:02:00.000+05:30

Ash to Ash
Dust to Dust
Fade to Black

To be continued

2007-08-20T13:42:00.000+05:30

The dog was a happy dog. Ever cheerful, he yelped at everyone. He wagged his tiny tail nineteen to the dozen. He brought a smile to everyone's face. Life was perfect. Touchwood. He had enough food to fill his stomach. He also had a perfect pole to pee on.

And then it happened..... It tore his world apart. He tried to surmount it. He even succeeded for sometime. He refused to let the turmoil show on his face. He still yelped at everyone. Ninteen to the dozen went down to eighteen, but who would notice? He kept fighting it. His life became a battlefield made up of everyday wars. He won a few and lost a few. He was very tired.

His doggie friends tried to help him. They reassured him that it would be over soon. But, the torment of the grave is known only by the corpse. He was haunted by despair and isolation. Every night he begged for forgiveness from his doggie God and fell asleep. He became an equilibrist on the thin line between cowardice and courage......

Synchronicity

2007-08-18T10:19:00.000+05:30

Studying for the CAT(esp quantitative aptitude) can be a gut wrenching experience(to put it very mildly). However , a few days ago when I happened to be doing RC exercises I came across a really interesting concept. Synchronicity. This theory was introduced by Carl Jung. As the exact definition goes, it is an experience of two or more events which occur in a meaningful manner; but which are casually inexplicable. Casually inexplicable!! I think such words are strung together with the intent to baffle us. Anyway, coming back to the point, casually inexplicable means events which occur without any interdependence.

One of the most famous examples of Synchronicity is that between Pink Floyd's album Dark side of the Moon and the movie, The Wizard of Oz. The effect is called Dark side of the rainbow. Supposedly, there are moments where the film and the music correspond with each other. Over hundred such moments have been compiled where the synergy exists. But then again, there are also numerous occasions when there is no such match between the movie and the music. Thus, what it comes down to is finding some order amidst the disorder. You look filter out the synergy. This concept is fairly reminiscent of Chaos Theory, where again you discard a lot of unnecessary data and concentrate upon what is needed. However this particular point is my own hypothesis.Synchronicity appears to be a more human form of Chaos Theory. Here the events are given meaning or rather meaning is derived from such events by us.

Critics of synchronicity put forth the argument that human beings tend to look for meaning where none actually exists. The events are mere coincidences according to them. However, I am not convinced by this arguments. I am certain that all of us have experienced such moments where we get a distinct feeling that there was a deeper meaning attached to them. Dismissing all such events as coincidence seems a bit absurd. For instance, just yesterday I was thinking about a friend of mine. I was on my way back from class. The moment i stepped home, i received a SMS from him. I was quite happy, not only because he had messaged me, but also I could apply the newly learnt theory of synchronicity.:-)

I am no expert on this subject, but at least I now know what to call not-mere-coincidences! Hopefully, this post has been less morbid. I received quite a few complaints that my first post had been downright depressing! This should be a definite change!

And so it begins...

2007-08-15T17:59:00.000+05:30

Once again i am going to make an attempt at blogging after a long hiatus. How successful i will be(or for that matter how regular!), only time will tell. The quality of writing will hopefully improve as the number of posts increase(all the more reason to blog). So please bear with me till then :-)

A lot has changed since the last time i blogged. One striking change has been in the happiness quotient. It was significantly higher back then. The reasons and events for the change i wont elucidate. But yes, one conclusion which i drew was that not only are we shaped by various events, but also that we shape the events to a large extent. Both exist in a state of non equilibrium. This is what eventually results in our development as human beings.

I feel a lot wiser, having been humbled by life's vicissitudes. But life does not seem moved by my contrite apologies or even tears. This might be the case with most people going through a bad phase. The phase seems amazingly resilient and unyielding. This is when people shower you with all kinds of cliched(i think cliche itself is cliched) dont-lose-hope pep talks and advice. But, then again what else can they do? No amount of consoling can alleviate the pain.

In the end, all that is left is hope. It is the temporary life jacket keeping us afloat. The permanent fix, however, must be found by the individual. In midst of all this confusion and despair a question often pops up," Why am i the chosen one for all thi?". The answer is fairly obvious. It is the individual's doing. The non equilibrium has to be maintained. Simply put, What goes around, comes around. Whether you are the first around or the second, does not matter. At the end of the day we are all stuck in a circle.